Archive for December, 2004

I’m moving to Malaysia

I saw an Oprah show the other day that took a look at 30 yr. old women around the world, and how their lives differed from ours. All I can say is wow! You thought America was the place to be?! Not always. For instance in Kuwait, almost everyone is rich. Even the “poor” have servants and maids. In Kuwait the government pays for ALL of your schooling through college. The main college there is very competitive, 67% of people that graduate are women. Most women there are *very* trendy b/c they have so much money. No matter who you are old, young, poor, or rich when you get married the government gives you $12,000 as a wedding gift! There’s also free health care. In Malaysia I think they too have free health care to anyone. An average 30 yr. old woman makes about $2,000 a month, BUT the rent for a nice 3 bedroom 2 bath apartment is only $250! So there is alot of money left over for shopping and working out. I think it was Malaysia or Brazil where the number one concern for most women was to have a nice body, and there are alot of them. In contrast a 30 yr. old famous dancer in cuba makes just as much as a doctor does in their country. An extremely nice apartment is expensive and is only one bedroom big. Most people live in shantys. The divorce rate is over 60% and it only takes 5 minutes and costs about $3.50. Crazy eh?! Or I might move to Europe where the gal to guy ratio is 4 to 1!! And most guys have 4-5 women constantly persuing him. I’d just make sure it’s a country that believes in armpit shaving and teeth brushing :)

I can hear the beach boys now “4 girls for every boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooy!”


Oh Baby!

I just wanna give a shout out to Tony for knocking u….I mean getting his wife pregnant 9 months ago. They are proud owners of a new baby boy Brayden (sp?) Alexander Cunningham. Y’know like “braidin’” my hair…anyways he was born a few days ago at 4:09 am he’s 7lbs and 20inches long. He’s got Michelle’s lips (Tony’s wife) and Tony’s nose… look out San Antonio! The best part is that he already snores like Tony does (I’m sorry Michelle). But all in all praise the Father for blessing them with a beautiful baby boy that is healthy and cute. Now I will never see Tony again. I just can’t believe he’s a



I just got back from Lapine where I was visiting the parents. It was an awesome time, real mellow, lots of fun. My cute mother still gets all teary eyed when she has to say goodbye. :) I almost didn’t make the trip though. The night before I was supposed to leave I started to feel kin of junky. I thought I was going to throwup, but an alkaselzer took care of that. My stomach felt better but late that night I had to ‘run’ to the bathroom b/c I had the green apple splatters worse then I’ve ever had ‘em in my life. I went and I went and I went. Every hour during the night I’d wake up needing to run to the bathroom. At one point about 3am I sprang up from bed and ran to my bedroom door, when I reached the door I half-way passed out careening sideways into my desk. I hung onto the doorknob trying to not actually fall flat on my back. The trips to the bathroom continued all night and into the morning. I slept in until 10am and I thought that I was actually better, that is until a fart in my pants turned into so much more. Unfortunately the runs continued ALL DAY LONG! I didn’t even “feel” sick, just every half an hour I had to run to the bathroom. Finally I made Cindy go to the store and get me some diarrhea medicine. I took two and a few hours later it still hadn’t made a difference. I even took a bunch of charcoal tablets. Fortunately about 30 minutes before i had to get on the bus I felt like the meds were stopping me up. I made the trip w/o incident. Whew.



Just about the only recurring dream that I ever have is one about my teeth. I’d like to think in real life that I have pretty good teeth, they’re mostly straight, mostly clean and a lil’ yellow from lack of dentist checkups. But sometimes when I enter dream land my teeth reach a whole new level. They’re rotten, black, falling out. In these dreams I’m scared to smile and I don’t even want to tell anyone especially my parents b/c I’m scared they will be mad at me. The last dream I had like this I was eating, when something started to hurt in my upper left molars. I took my hand to feel the tooth and instead of just feeling it, I ended up (with my fingers) splitting it in two and ripping half of it out of my mouth. In the dream I was like, “oh no! Why did I just do that?!” With no logical response I had Karin look at my tooth and instead of her gently looking or poking around my mouth, she takes her fingers, hooks them on my bottom row of teeth and YANKS down hard so my mouth has an unhinging/ripping open feeling. It was horrid. I woke up wondering why the heck I would ever dream such a thing. I mentioned something to my co-workers about having dreams where my teeth were rotted out, and Hector said that he’s had those kind of dreams and so has his mother. He said that he was told it was a fear of the future or something. I felt comforted that others have had psycho tooth dreams like myself.

Due to the dreams about my teeth, I was feeling more and more self-concious about them and since my old toothbrush was about as effective as a wet sponge rubbing against my teeth I decided it was time for a new one. I got some new, funky oral-b thing that was on sale, but I gotta say, brushing with this monster is nice. The first night I cracked it open I was feeling especially ambitious so I thought that I’d floss as well.

Flossing is my biggest downfall in my quest for excellent dental hygiene, I just don’t do it. It’s a pain in the ass (if you’re into that sorta thing) and I always forget. I used to lie to the dentist’s assistants after they’d be done flossing my teeth, “no no, I floss daily!” is what I’d tell them as blood dribbled out of my mouth from my freshly flossed gums. But this night I was going to make a change, I thought the best way to avoid fulfilling my toothless dreams was to brush and floss. The top row of teeth went great without a hitch. The bottom row was a little tricky as I went past my fake tooth, but when I reached the middle teeth of the bottom row is where I ran into trouble. I seesawed the the floss back and forth when it got stuck! The teeth are so close together that they wouldn’t let go of it. I am unsure if it was waxed or un-waxed floss, but it was definately not mint or cinnamon flavored. As I started to pull the blood soaked floss away from my face I found out that it was ghetto floss, probably made by the same company that made the ghetto kleenex box we had in the bathroom last week……you know the kind made by a ghetto machine with a blade so dull it doesn’t fully cut each tissue, leaving the tissue you pull out still slightly attached to the one still in the box so when you have a runny nose and frantically pull the first sheet you get the next 30 sheets with it. Sweet. I say it was ghetto floss b/c as I started to pull it out it started to shred into little strands! I got the big line of floss out but I was left with what felt like hair stuck between my teeth. No matter what I did I could not get the rest of it out of my teeth. Defeated I ended up going to bed and for the next 4 or 5 days I was constantly playing with the hair-like floss in between my teeth. Yesterday was the first day that I realized the hair was gone….It sucked, so much for being ambitious with my dental hygiene.


Just like old times

Tony came over last night and he brought over “I, robot” so me, kar and he could watch it. Right as we enter my room he lays down on my bed and says “I’m just going to lay here for a minute”. Within 5 minutes he was out cold and Karin and I were being serenaded to the sawing snores of Tony sleeping. He slept for all but the last 2 minutes of the 2 hour movie. Its as if his body sensed the end and woke up. This is mostly funny if you know Tony. He used to come over at about 10pm at night all excited to hang out, but within 30 minutes to an hour he’d sound asleep. I’d go to bed and around 2am or so Tony would get up, drive home and go to bed. Michelle told me when he used to do this at her house she’d turn off all the lights, the tv…everything so that it was completely quiet. Within 15 minutes he’d wake up saying, “what’s going on? what’s happening, who’s there?” Aaaah Tony, you’re almost a daddy and you still fall asleep at everyone else’s house.


Dime is dead.

You may have heard about a shooting in Ohio last night. It took place at a concert and at least one of the band members was killed. To most of my friends the band and person killed will draw a question mark, but to Jake, Phil, and I it hit a little harder. “Dimebag” Daryll was shot 4 times at point-blank range as he played onstage with his band Damageplan. It’s just so crazy. A guy ran onto stage right after the concert started and killed him! Right in front of everyone. The police later stormed in and shot the killer, so now we have no idea why someone would do this. It’s so tragic b/c Dimebag wasn’t my favorite guitarist but he was CRAZY good, and created some of the baddest riffs on guitar. Pantera (his former band) will go down as one of the heaviest/baddest bands. It’s weird to think that we’ll never hear another note from him. Now they’ll feel us up even more when we go to conerts. I can’t believe they didn’t have any security like that at this concert all….tragic tragic….It just pisses me off that people are so crazy/delusioned/messed up….grrrr….



I’ve been very busy with alot of web programming lately, and since I’ve been “exercising” my programming skills so much I realized today that I have developed the programmer’s physique. In short I look like an upside-down mushroom. My belt is on the last loop, when I bend over I look pregnant, I can’t brush my teeth without the rest of my body jiggling, and when I look down to pee I can’t see where it’s coming from, damn this sucks. I’m fat. Goodbye CJ. :(


Horror - scope

In my office there are three (male) Scorpios. One shares the same birthday as me, and the other is a few days later. Anyways John approaced us the other day and said, “well it doesn’t look too good for us boys”, he then handed us a piece of paper with our horoscope on it, it read:

The worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son of a bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.

How true it is.