Archive for March, 2005

Billy, he ain’t shootin no Blanks

A few years back for one of my fun classes at Mt. Hood Community College I did aerobic kickboxing. It was right around that time that Taebo got crazy popular. I had a friend that had the tapes and I thought they were very worthy. A few months ago my sis decided that she wanted some Taebo dvd’s to throw into her workout mix. I kept my eyes open for any good used ones since I figured they’d have some new ones out. To my dismay I couldn’t find them anywhere, so I put it in the back of my head. That was until the night my remote stopped on channel 99, the 24 hour infomercial channel. There I saw him. Billy Blanks in all his ripped muscle glory pushin’ a new set of DVD’s. I was actually interested in what he was selling, not only for Megan’s sake but I remembered that the original Taebo stuff was really good. Now he’s got “Billy’s Boot Camp”. It has some Taebo moves intermixed with other things, but the difference is that now the DVD’s come with Billy Bands! What praytell are Billy Bands? They’re big elastic rubber bands (with a handle) you use to provide resistance when working out. So that night Karin and I impulse bought Billy’s new set of stuff. I know I sound like I’m mocking, but I actually was excited.

So after an amazingly long wait we finally got our order. In anticipation I ripped open the box to see all of the goodies but to my ill surprise NO BILLY BANDS!! :( I couldn’t believe it! I turned the box upside down and out plopped to balls and a note: “Due to the high demand for Billy Bands this item is currently out of stock, please accept these beautiful big blue balls as a free gift.” Since Billy Blanks’ Billy Bands are on backorder I received Billy Blank’s big blue balls instead. They’re kinda mushy. So I’m supposed to use them in place of the bands until they arrive, they work pretty good.

For the last week I’ve been doing only the 1st DVD outta four and I gotta say, WOW. IT kicks my ass. Now keep in mind I’ve been working out pretty good for two months now but this ‘beginner’ DVD is darn good. When I work out alone in my room I like to strip down to my skivies and kick some A. By the end of the workout my whole body is drenched in sweat, it looks like I just stepped out of the shower. It’s really cool. That’s when I go in front of the mirror and flex my muscles and say “you wanna piece of me? Well first you gotta get past these guns!” Then I bust out a few final “hiya’s!” and hit the showers. The first night after doing this workout I felt pretty good, but man o man the next day my legs were killing me, it hurt to walk. For the next two days I was really in alot of pain, so you know they’re good. AND!! This is without the use of the Billy Bands! Just his balls, so you can only imagine how much harder it will be when you have strong resistence everytime you punch, kick or curl! I’m excited for that new pain. My recommendation: A+


Injustice at Guitar Center

Guitar Jake played in the Semi-finals of Guitarmaggedon this week. We all knew that the competition would be stiff so all of us were excited. Jake was second which I thought was the perfect position. The first guy, about 40 years old did real good. He looked mighty relaxed and a little geeky which was successful in embarressing his teenage daughter. Jake got up there and started with a real nice melody. He did such a good job of creating a climax in the song with little previews of what was to come. The last half of the song it happened, someone pushed the accelerator on Jake’s fingers. It was amazing. Jake and I have been playing guitar together for 10 years and honestly, I have never seen him play like this. It was killer. I literally had chills going up and down my spine. A competitor (Jason) from three weeks ago that advanced along side Jake was sitting near the stage getting ready to play. While Jake was playing the slow pretty melody near the beginning of the song Jason was smiling and bobbin’ his head to the music. When Jake started to rip it up non-stop near the end of the song, Jason’s smile quickly fell off of his face. That said it all. It was the ‘oh sh*t, I might as well pack my bags’ face. Priceless. Jake absolutely nailed it! The rest of the field was ‘pretty good’. Jason did real good, but I thought that Jake did better. We waited anxiously for the results……”And the winner is….SCOTT!”


Oh yes the guy that went last. A guy that wore a cool shirt and played the blues, but always played the same thing over and over throughout the whole song. wow. Great job. Really showing his diversity. Scott did have a great stage prescence, but honestly were the judges high? Jake, Jason nearly everyone did better than Scott (imo) but what do I know? Lame.

Tony even did better than Scott. Tony was also blind and mentally disabled (autism??). They laid the guitar down flat in front of him and he played it like that, it was really something else. It dawned on me that I have actually seen Tony play the guitar before. I used to work at Riff’s guitar shop and I remember this mentally disabled kid coming in and laying the guitar on his lap and playing the blues like none other. It was crazy.

So congrats to Jake we know who really won.

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Phil came over last night and we all went out to Applebee’s. It’s funny how your perspective changes on something when you’re poor or have to pay for everything yourself. Example. Back in the day when I used to live w/the Rents it seemed like we always went to Applebee’s and I got sick of it. There were times I wouldn’t go with them even though they were paying. Man. I miss those days. Anyways last night AB sounded good. In the past they were having this special where you could get an appetizer, main meal and dessert for $12, not too shabby. They changed their special so now it’s everything b-b-q. Phil and I decided upon the mesquite bbq steak covered in pepperjack cheese. I like AB’s steaks but they’re not like ‘to die for’ they’re just good. But last night they were awesome! I don’t know what it was, but Phil agreed they kicked some serious A. Get one, tell them to cook it ‘medium’ not beef jerky style (well done) like Karin you won’t regret it.

After din-din we went to Best Buy to find some goods. Phil got “The Incredibles” and he and I got an WWII Xbox game called “Brothers in Arms”. I REALLY dig WWII games especially ones that are good. This one has been getting rave reviews so after much thought, I thought I’d get it. It really is very good. It really plays like a movie. Unlike most games the tutorial doesn’t tell you what the buttons do, so when the game starts you’re lost. Not too mention it starts with you waking up looking at the sky with a soldier bending over to see if you’re ok it’s a bit eerie. From there the story unfolds along with great game play.
Last night I finally saw the movie “Ray”. It was good I really enjoyed it. I was slightly blown away though b/c I never knew that Ray Charles had an addiction to heroin for so many years. Jaimie Foxx really did a wonderful job, and I completely forgot that it was him playing Ray, that was nice:). I also didn’t know that Ray was so into the ladies (literally), Phil and I thought this was ok so we’re going to start playing the piano more and wear shades. oh yeah.



I’m watching this show on Discovery about Potter-Willy (sp?) disease where these people’s hypothalmus doesn’t tell them when they’re full, so they’re totally addicted to food. Literally they will eat a huge dinner and within 5 minutes they’ll “feel” hungry again, it’s crazy. Needless to say they are all dangerously overweight, yet they just can’t stop. From what I can tell it’s not curable. The only way to curb it is with external ’stops’ in place, like someone controlling everything they eat. It’s kinda sad, I can’t imagine not being able to stop b/c of some physiological reason…..craziness.

No point, just crazy.



Everytime I walk into the crapper at work I always start humming the same song. It’s not ‘beans beans the magical fruit’ or ‘On top of ol’ smokey’, it’s a song by System of a Down. Weird eh? I finally figured out why today. It’s the way I close the door. Upon entering the stall I pull on the little dealy where you hang your coat to close the door and then I flip the latch. Coincidently this very action creates the beginning rhythm to that song. I always pull the door shut with vigor and so it does a bounce (downbeat) and then three small bounces (triplet) another small bounce and then the closing latch (snaredrum). It’s uncanny how it works out. While I was sitting there today I wondered if there are rhythms inside of rhythms that our sub-concious picks up on that remind us of other songs. In the car with Phil the music was turned down way low but he swore that he kept hearing the drum beats to ‘down on the corner’ by CCR. Doesn’t that seem possible? I know there are times we can pick out obvious similar things, but have you ever listened to a song that reminded you of another song, that was completely different? I dunno. Just seems like it’s possible that two or three bars of one song can have the same part of another song intertwined enough that we don’t conciously hear it but deep inside we do. I don’t know if I’m prone to be like this b/c constantly during the day there seems to be noises and beats that remind me of songs.


sore boobies

I think my boobies are going to fall off. Yesterday I worked out really hard for the first time in a week and a half and today I was feeling it all day at work. Sometimes they had that ‘good hurt’ feeling but mostly they ached like an old man trying to climb the stairs. Tonight as I was leaving the gym I was nearly knocked over with a wall of ben-gay, just then the old man to my left sneezed harder and louder than I thought was possible from his hunched-over, frail, ben-gay soaked body could handle. I put my hand up in case he fell backwards. I ‘blessed’ him and he began to grumble something under his breath (like old men do) so I just walked away. I worked out the guns tonight, and I really pushed it once again, so I’m sure tomorrow they will feel like falling off too. My chest does seem to be getting bigger which is a good and bad thing. I want it to be ripped like a macho man, but for now there is still some flab attached to my bulging muscles so they don’t look quite right, plus when its cold my nipometers stick out and that really looks funny…..which all my guy friends feel the need to pinch. (Not so funny). I’m just in an in between phase, hopefully I can break through.

Man I am loving this jazz CD I am currently listening to. The Drum Battle with Gene Krupa and Buddy Rich. I was looking for some good jazz drumming the other day at Tower Records, and I saw this cover so I thought, that must have some sort of drum stuff in it. It’s not totally what I expected, but it’s got some good retro drum solos, and there are some slow songs that are reeeeeal nice. So smooth and sultry like a soft woman at your fingertips. Other songs make me shake my hips, and I like to shake them. The ladies like ‘em too. TJ pointed me in the right directoin of more Buddy Rich CD’s so I’ll let you know the verdict on those.



I don’t know if it was the celery I ate before I went to bed last night, but I had this crazy dream that felt so real it freaked me out when I woke up. The dream started out normal enough with me, Kar, Guitar Jake, Lessthanme Jake and a few other non descript people all playing airsoft near Kelly Butte. I remember I was the only one on my team left and I was pinned down laying on my belly barely getting any cover by these massive tree roots that were coming out of the ground. Guitar Jake was laying down a steady spread of plastic bullets until I finally spotted him through the roots. I fired back at him but I couldn’t seem to hit him. Finally I pelted him and my team won. We all got up and Guitar Jake said be sure to watch out for syringes b/c druggies like to come up here and shoot up. (Which actually makes sense b/c in real life that’s a slight fear we have at Kelly Butte) Right after he said he and I were transformed into my house in the dream which was really a dark, dingy small apartment. We were watching where we stepped b/c we thought there were going to be syringes on the ground but there wasn’t so we went to sleep. I woke up to a loud noise (in the dream) and I walked out to the kitchen and there were syringes EVERYWHERE! Like all over the floor, the counters and stuck in the walls. They were facing every which way and it made it so hard to pick them up. Someone had broke into our house and done a bunch of drugs and left their used needles all over the place. The door was split down the center so when I pulled on the handle it pulled apart. We started to clean up the mess putting all the syringes in a shoebox but everytime I picked one up it seemed to gravitate towards my arm veins. It was all I could do to stop from pricking myself. As the dream went on this became some much of a challenge that I just wanted to fall into the needles to get it over with and pick up whatever disease was on them. We filled the shoebox to the brim and I woke up just as I tripped and started spilling them all over the floor again. Freakin’ crazy. Decipher that one.



My weekend was good in Prosser Washington. Phil and I headed up there Friday night after work. It was fun to play games on a HUGE projected TV and it was nice to have every meal paid for and a great place to sleep, but I think some of the most fun was actually traveling to and fro to Prosser. I’m not usually that thrilled to sit in the car for 3.5 hours, but Phil has a new WRX so it made the drive much more interesting. Actually riding with Phil makes things ‘interesting’. While on the Oregon side we hovered not too far over 65mph range. But once we hit the back roads of Washington Phil decided to let his hair down. From Biggs Junction to Prosser it is pretty much a middle of nowhere cop free zone, which makes it awesome for winding up the WRX. Phil has never really got on it in the city but he made sure that wouldn’t happen in the country. I think our average cruising speed was 80-85 and seriously it feels like we’re barely going 55. But when it came to passin’ big rigs the car would launch from 80 to 110 in about .7 seconds, it was seriously awesome. Going fast was never scary, it was Phil’s lack of depth perception. He claimed that it was only b/c it was dark, but I soon found out on the way back that it also affected him during the daylight hours. We would be cruising behind a semi on a straight away for about a mile or so and Phil would say “well we’ve been going straight for awhile so I think it’s safe to pass”. Not once but twice he said this and as we started to *finally* pass the truck lo and behold the road would curve, but did we slow down and try to get behind the truck? Hell no! Phil would punch it! Fortunately the WRX is rated as one of the safest on the road and we never had any close calls (we were going too fast), as I am NOT writing this from the hospital. There’s not much in Prosser so it was fitting that we played video games and watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force all weekend…………………’wait for the drumroll’!!!

UPDATE!! So Phil read my blog today and informed that I wasn’t 100% correct on everything stated in my recount of last Friday night’s events. He set the record straight. Below is the straight record: (FYI I think ‘fealt’ = ‘felt’, I’ll ask Phil)

PHIL: Actually, we were going 90-95 most of the time and it fealt like 85, which fealt like 55, except when we were behind trucks. I was only kidding about depth perception problems. If you saw those corners in the dark you should’ve said something.

ME: oh all of a sudden it’s my fault we passed on corners!

PHIL: Its not all of the sudden, it was your fault at the time too.

ME: i was busy looking at the stars.

PHIL: Me Too!



The other day Phil was over. I don’t know what it is about Phil, but everytime he’s with me he likes to spend money, and I like to help him. Since he *finally* got the DSL hookup at home (my parents in the boonies got DSL before Phil a computer science major could) I convinced him that he was going to have to take advantage of it. He always says he’s too busy playing computer games to get Xbox stuff but no more! I convinced him that he needed Xbox Live which came with Crimson Skies (hey Dave where’s your copy?), I also convinced him that if he was going to have Xbox Live how could he NOT get the best game, so he bougth Halo2…excellent. AND since alot of my friends play Rainbow Six - Black Arrow I decided to pick up a used copy, which in turn I told Phil that we needed another fun game like this that we can play online. So he picked up that too. Within in a matter of minutes I spent nearly $150 of Phil’s money, for him. But he’s still a D-bag b/c he hasn’t even set it up yet! No matter though b/c this weekend I will beat him down in Prossor Washington. Where is Prossor? I don’t know but all I know is it will be the beating grounds for beating Phil. We’re going up there to visit a friend of his that has a huge projector and a 38″ TV primed for killing Phil. Wish you all could come.

“Rock is not Satan’s music, i was married to Satan, and she listened to Hip-Hop” –Quote from Phil from somewhere (if you were the one married to Satan, send me your name and I’ll give you due credit)



Mt. St. Helens blew off a bit of steam the other day. It was actually pretty cool to see, especially if you didn’t know what was going on. Kar and I were going to Freddies when we both spotted it at the same time. I was pretty sure it looked like some sort of ‘blowout’ but I wasn’t sure. Fortunately when I stepped off the bike I noticed that I had missed some calls from my informer. I may not seem important enough to have one, but I do. Dave is my official ‘informer’. I noticed that he’s the one that’s the 1st to tell me about anything. Most of our conversations begin with “Did you hear…” “Did you see….” “Oh my gosh!”. Even when we haven’t talked in months he’ll still be the 1st to tell me that California fell into the ocean or that someone is gay. Speaking of Mt. St. Helens relieving herself I wish Mt. St. Micah would do the same. I’m actually not talking about pooping for once. A few days ago the tip of my nose started to get kinda red. Each day it’s progressively got more red and way tender. I’ve learned the few times it’s done this it is usually a reverse pimple (one the is on the inside of the nose), but last night when I turned my nose inside out I didn’t see anything. So I don’t know what exactly is happening except tonight it looks like it is actually ‘heading up’ a little bit. I should give it a good squeeze, maybe some human lava will shoot out. I’ve been a little embarressed while at work lately b/c I can see everyone’s eye look down towards my nose when they talk to me so I decided to bring it out in the open, that’s why I named it Mt. St. Micah and ‘ol rudy, that way everyone can poke fun at it. It even came in handy when threatening my co-worker that I was going to squirt him in the eye with my nose juice. Making fun of it works when you have time, but it’s not as easy in public to pull it off. The other day I went to 105.1 The buzz’s radio station to pick up the copy of Ray the movie that I won and I noticed everyone was mesmerized by my nose. I haven’t watched Ray yet, but everyone says that it is real good so I’ll let you know how it goes. I also received the soundtrack to the movie, and I gotta say it is REALLY good. There are some songs I’ve never heard and I really like them, it made me more excited to see the movie.


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