Archive for September, 2005

If I had a Million Dollars…..

……I wouldn’t buy a llama or an emu. I think I would give it to Lynne.
I don’t know what good it would do, but I feel like she is one of the most
deserving people in the world. Lynne is one of my co-workers and she is fun and nice and she pretty much holds the whole
company together. Seriously she knows everything about everything, and she gets paid beans for it. But that’s not the only
reason why. Lynne is not a drama queen, but it seems like life has thrown some doozies (sp?). First off her husband has all
sorts of medical problems, something with the lining of his heart or the arteries around the heart are thin, and so he’s really
not in good health and could have even more major problems develop quickly. She has to constantly watch out for him, and hope
for the best, whatever that may be. The truly crazy story is about her son. 5 years ago her son (J) was at a party. The party had started to die down so people were falling asleep including J. While her son slept on the couch his “best friend” decided that J must die. The demented friend wrote out a note and everything. The friend walked over to J and promptly stabbed him in the neck, severing his carotid artery. Fortunately, there was one person still awake at the party and sober enough that put pressure on his neck, otherwise he would’ve bled to death in a very short time. They rushed him to the hospital and did surgery on him, while they were doing surgery on him, he had a blood clot travel up into his brain and basically he had a stroke. After that they decided they needed to release pressure on his brain so they cut out a good chunck of his cranium to let the brain “breathe” or something. While they were in there they noticed that part of the brain had died, so they cut that part out. To make matters even worse, when they finally decided to put the missing part of his head back on, they didn’t notice that his brain was still a little swollen, so it squished his brain a little causing him to have seizures. Luckily J lived through it all, but he has to take anti-seizure medication and the part of his brain they cut out was a chunck of his communication center. So he has a hard time conveying what he means. He can speak, but it’s in short words, like “cat out” would mean “can I let the cat out”. Sometimes he gets stuck in a loop where he’s trying to tell you he’s hungry but the only word that comes to his mind is tractor, or something like that. The “friend” got 7 years in prison, he should’ve gotten more, but b/c of the grand legal system they were able to cut his sentance in half b/c he was only trying to kill J instead of trying to hurt and kill him.

It stinks b/c all of this take such a toll on Lynne she really loves her son as any mother would, but you can tell she misses being able to talk with him like she used to. The neat thing is that he is still able to draw really well, so he draws crazy cool things to express his feelings, although most of the images are very dark. It’s all very sad, but yesterday was Lynne’s 50th birthday so we surprised her by kidnapping her and taking her to El Indio (my fav mexican place). It was an awesome time for such a wonderfully stong lady.


Picture Time

I got my hair dyed/highlight/frosted/whatever its called. Why? B/C it was free. :)

Bekah throwin’ back a long cool one

The aftermath moustache



So my boss is an excessive TV freak, she watches tons of shows and feels the need to tell me and my co-worker every detail
about every one of them even if SHE (my boss) didn’t like the show! Her favorite show, even above Lost is The Amazing Race. She likes it so much that she’s going to tryout for it the next time they’re looking for people…..hehe. Anyways, I get a lot of joy out of making fun of The Amazing Race, since I really don’t think it’s all that amazing. Co-worker K and I were trying to think of some new names that were more fitting for The Amazing Race. Here’s some of what we came up with (you can join in the fun!):

The Pretty Good Race

The *YAWN* Race

The I’ve Had Better Race

The It’s Really Not a Race Race

The Mediocre Race

The Take It or Leave It Race

The Needs More Explosions Race


Freakin’ Funny

Check out this guy’s comments that he has left for other people on Ebay. Funny stuff, especially since he left comments for people that he never had a transaction with.
A few of my favs…

When I open boxes of cereal, you should be inside. Yes, you’re THAT GOOD!

For some strange reason everything you sold me was illegal. Then I got shot. A+?

The Lord only granted me one child, and she died. Anyway, you were great. A+A+


Today Is Me Day!

Avast Ye!
Another year hast past and International Talk like a Pirate Day be upon us. Another time for all ye scalawags to prance
around acting like a pirate. Well I’m here to tell ye landlubbers it ain’t all it’s cracked up to be, so splice the mainbrace of yer kindest grog and give ‘an ear.

Yaargh, sailin’ the seven seas puts a weight on a salty dog’s soul. The open sea is me true home, but sometimes ye want firm
ground underneath yer soles. I remember dockin’ into a kindly lil’ port a few years back. Me buckos and me were worn to the
bones and lookin’ fer a place to fill our hogshead. It had been dry fer 12 days and me mates were feelin’ a might restless. We
found what we was looking fer, but we also ran into some bilge-sucking buccaneers from the North Sea that didn’t take to
kindly to ‘ole Jolly Roger. They had trained killer attack parrots that wielded deadly pecking power. Yaargh, that’s how I lost
me eye. Me yellabellied mates were already pushing off by the time I was finally free of the parrots, I had to run and climb
Jacob’s ladder just to board me own ship! And I’m the Cap’n! Anyways we had to leave with such haste we was only able to
secure some cackle fruit, enough bumboo to twice fill our black jacks and maggot infested blackbread. One our best plunders
to date!

To celebrate, that night I had the cook make salmagundi grub. While the cook was cookin’, some of me matey’s were able to
secure some gull meat, I thought it should be added to the meal, so I burst forth into the cooking area to surprise the cook.
Yaargh, that’s how I lost me hand. Never startle the cook when he’s a choppin’ the meat. All was not lost though, we had even
more meat to add to the grub. Best salmagundi ever.

A few weeks later when we was hangin’ near the end of the hempen halter I peered through mine spyglass with me remaining
eye and spotted a merchant ship. Shiver me Timbers! What a spot to see! I gathered me fellow freebooters and formed a plan
of attack. We shot mighty hot lead at the side of that ship, yes we did, but in the fury of the fight one our cannons cracked and
blew apart our last powder monkey! The rest of the blaggard boatswains were too scared to fire anymore cannons so the task
was left to me. I was the one who single handedly made that blasted merchant ship surrender, without the help of me prissy
deck swabs! But it was all for nought! I boarded the merchant ship and that is where I laid me eye upon the sauciest wench in
the South Sea. Gwendolyn. She was a strong beaut that had the finest pirate booty I have ever laid eye on, and frankly it needed
to be boarded. Her husband was a small smart to be reckoned with but I quickly had him walkin’ the plank to Davey Jone’s
Locker. Some of me men tried to drop their anchor in Gwendolyn’s lagoon, but I would have none of it! Before they knew it I
had three of them’s lights and liver with the help of me trusty cutlass, and the other two were sent back to mine ship to kiss the gunner’s daughter. Yargh, what a fine day it was for pillagin’, killin’, plunderin’ and firin’ me cannon through Gwendolyn’s
porthole. Some days ye wake up and just know it’s going to be a plentiful day.

I hope this is a small lesson to ye, that being a pirate ain’t all it seems. Some days yer hanging by the keelhaul other times yer ridin’ the top o’ the mast with the wind beneath yer loins. Remember these words as ye go through this day, and remember to
keep yer fellow seamen in mind or y’ull be feedin’ the fish just like Gwendy’s lil’ husband.

~Wankin’ Skyler Drake

I ’spose ye all want some links to help ye through the day. Well. Ok.

Talk like me!

Get your Pirate name try using upper and lower case letters.

The only place I prefer to plunder for Pirate Goods.

Some pickup lines that helped me get ‘ole Gwendy:

That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.

They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big.

You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing?

Well blow me down?

Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

Wanna help me raise the mast?

Cap’n Lazy Eye Ducky says: Quuaarrgghkk


Arrested Buckos

Just a quick ‘minder to ye scumbags, that tonight on thee channel Fox at 8pm thee best show on TV aires (Arrested Development). Do not miss it err I’ll cut yer arm clean off and feed it to the fishes!!



Sorry for the no postings over the last few days. What happened there was that Tony came over, (enter audience “ooooohh”) yeah and he got on my computer (audience gasp) I know I know, but he was helping me add a cool new feature to my site so it was approved. Things weren’t working right and Tony was getting annoyed with the fact that my HTML editor was not connected directly to my site, so in the flurry of things he asked if he could take down my firewall and for some unknown reason I agreed. Bad Mistake. All of a sudden my computer started freaking out, programs were getting downloaded, icons were appearring on my desktop and the background of my desktop changed to something that said “Warning your computer might be infected with spyware!!”. Well no poop Sherlock, you ARE the spyware. SOOOOO annoying. So now there was all this crap on my computer, my icons would disappear and re-appear, my CPU was at 100%, and I wasn’t very happing in general. Tony decided to play some games on the Xbox. To make a fat story thin, my computer had contracted the PSGuard malware thing, and it is a pain to remove. One thing that was a complete savior was the Ewido Security Suite. They have a 14 day full trial of their software and it found soooo much more crap than Norton Antivirus, read Norton found one thing and Ewido found several hundred, it’s time to uninstall Norton. I’m actually going to buy Ewido’s thing b/c it’s only $30 and it pretty much kicks some serious A. Next I used Panda’s Online Activescan which is very thorough and is very good at finding a few things that are left over. They have a free online virus scanner you can use, but it doesn’t get rid of anything. It’s good for telling you where certain bastard files lie deep, deep in your computer. I was able to delete most of those A-hole remnants. There a few files that Pandascan was finding but when I went to that location in my computer I couldn’t see the file even though I had “show all hidden and system files” turned on. That’s when I found a cool litte program called Killbox. This little guy is awesome, it gets rid of files that are “read only” that are a pain to delete, plus you can end your Explorer Shell while you’re deleting which is nice since some of these jerk programs get all wrapped up in your processes and say they can’t be deleted b/c the comp. is currently using it.

So as of yesterday (2.5 days after Tony was over) I thought I had fixed everything, there was nothing nasty left on my computer, but when I right clicked the desktop and hit properties, I could only see two of the 5 tabs that are supposed to show up (a nice side effect of desktop hijacking). That’s when I came across this WinXP Tweaks website, which has a buttload of resources and registry edits that restore your computer to its full functioning self. After that I was DONE, and my firewall will never come down again! Yay!


Dreamin’ O You Xbox 360

So I’m not sure if the dream I had last night was inspired by the new controller for the Nintendo Revolution coming out next year, but it was whacked! In the dream I couldn’t decide whether to go to Fry’s to wait in line like I did 4 years ago for the Xbox, or to just go to the local Fred Meyer and get it there since even though I waited in line all night 4 years ago, they had Xboxs at our local Freddies! So in the dream we (my buds and me) opted for the Fred Meyer route, sure enough there was line waiting for the Xboxes. Fortunately we got there in time as there was only a few spots were left. The funny thing was that at the beginning of the line there were two radio personalities, Daria O’ Neil and some other chick, and they were having a competition for anyone that could draw them the most accurate in 5 seconds would get to go first for getting an Xbox 360! Amazingly I was the one that got to go first! They said that I captured the other radio jock’s frizzy hair the best. Yes! Anyways I got the Xbox 360 and immediately cracked it open out in the parking lot. The crazy thing was, that even though it was supposed to look like this it actually looked more like a glorified Super Nintendo . The Xbox came with one game, a racing game, that was to be literally played on the Xbox, I’m talking about on top of the console. This race track folded out into a slot car racetrack, complete with a big figure 8 and a couple of loops. Nice~ but not what I expected or wanted. I somehow played with the slot car racetrack for a few minutes in the parking lot, until it started to rain, then I packaged everthing up and woke up. I hope it doesn’t turn out like that.



Sorry ’bout the slow loading time here at ET. The picture of the supercella below was way too big and I kept forgetting to change the size, so now it has been changed from 350k to a mere 90k or so. So don’t hate. Um, I have things to say, but a little bit too busy right now, fearing the wrath of Tony, here is something cool.




“Time flies like wind, fruit flies like bananas” –Groucho Marx

I like this picture, it’d freak the snot outta me if I saw it in real life.

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