Archive for May, 2006

Toe Fungus

What’s the deal with all the toe fungus commercials and online ads?! Is this really a big problem for a lot of people? I mean c’mon! Do I really need to see the animation of the toe “fun guy” yanking up the toenail on the big toe like a mechanic diving under a ‘73 Lime Green Chevy Nova car hood? Gross! I just can’t imagine the need for all these commercials. I mean, I have ugly toes but I’ve never got the fungus. I have many friends that have ugly toes, but none of them ever got the fungus. In fact I don’t think I’ve known anyone that had toe fungus. Athlete’s foot? Suure. Toe Jam? Suure. Ingrown Toenail? Suure. Leprosy? Suure. Canklitus? Suure, but never fungus.

There must be a lot of nasty people in the midwest and down south to tip the scales towards toe fungus. I say down south because there are many-a swamp down there and I figure that’s where you pick up the fungi. I say midwest because I don’t like them.

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Bitter sweet

Yesterday was a good mixture of both. The day was sweet because my boss was still on vacation so that makes the environment just a bit nicer. It was super sweet when one of the big wigs upstairs caught us in the lunchroom to tell us that the new memory for our PC’s had arrived. We work with big hefty images in about 4 different programs all day long and our machines were seriously under powered. Excitedly we tore open our machines to install the new memory. While we were performing the memory operations one of the shippers came in and said, “I think this is for you.” And he sets down three medium sized Dell boxes. They looked about the right size to contain new machines but we knew we weren’t getting new computers so we were a bit perplexed. Unfazed we continued installing our new memory. About 5 minutes later the big wig that gave us the memory came down and said, “Ooohh, more goodies, I wonder what these could be?!” He was acting goofy which is totally not his personality. It was funny. He cracks open the box and pulls out a beautiful new 20″ widescreen flat panel monitor! I was so excited I think I pooped a little in my pants. K and I both let out “whoo hoos!” and hurriedly put our machines back together to play with our new monitors. It seems the company decided to finally listen to all our bitching and splurge on us! That was all the sweet stuff.

The day went on without a hitch, our new monitors are like a dream. They are mounted on some sort of hydraulic lever so that you can adjust the height with just a little pressure, it’s pretty neat. Things were smooth until about 2pm, my lunchtime. I was about to get up when the head honcho, the big guy upstairs, the CEO if you will calls for me. He’s fired up. Great. Seems while he was away at some big trade show last week there were supposed to be some products put on the web so that all the customers he gained at said trade show would be able to go home and order these awesome new products. Guesst what? That’s right, the images never got put on the web and he wants to know why. I’m totally blindsided, I look through all my paperwork, fumble around on the phone like an idiot trying to BS as fast as I could for an answer. Basically I look succeed in looking like a total incompetent putz. I tell him I’ll get to the bottom of it and call him back. After some digging I find all the images on the my boss’s computer but she never put them on the freakin’ web! I start processing the images to put them on the web but as I get almost done I realize she did something funky with the images making them virtually unusable! K and I scramble to scan and take pictures of these stupid things and get them on the web, we finished up literally about 5 minutes before it was time to leave. It all sucked.

Here’s the thing that really gets my goat. If this would’ve been me or my coworker that forgot to put these on the web our boss would’ve reamed us a new poophole. I sooo want to tell her about her faux pas when she gets back on Tuesday but here’s the problem. No matter what, she will make it our fault. She’ll exclaim that we were supposed to put those up while she was on vacation and she’ll swear that she told us, etc…etc. It’s such bullsh*t. So instead we’ll all zip our lips and act like everything went smooth all week. Stupid.

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Note to self

When you’re standing in the bathroom peeing into the toilet and you see a spider slowly descending down the wall in front of you…It’s not a good time to pick up a kleenex and attempt to capture said spider. Things quickly get out of control like firemen trying to catch a loose hose.

Also, fun fact of the day! When facing capture, bathroom spiders can jump out of the way! Who knew?!

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When you should be working…..

Do this instead! I found a nice diversion to working by reading a comic strip. My co-worker showed me Achewood. I’ll admit it’s random at times and not very funny other times but for the most part I’ve been enjoying it. The characters are household pets except for Phillipe who is a baby otter. Like I said it’s a little weird and it took me a few strips to even get into, but once you’re flowing with the humor of the writer it’s pretty funny.

Here’s one of the strips:

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Kissing Cousins?

I came home yesterday and Cindy was watching a Dr. Phil about ‘unconventional marriages’. Things like a 45-yr old with a 17 yr. old, or 2nd cousins wanting to get married. When I sat down they were specifically talking about the cousins who wanted to get married. One of the other relatives was grossed out and telling them that it was wrong and their children were going to have all sorts of birth defects. Dr. Phil told her that none of those things were true. (This is the part where I learned something) According to Dr. Phil’s doctor’s and researchers there is practically no risk for 2nd cousins to have birth defects in their children, AND the risk is only slightly higher among first cousins, anywhere between 1.5 - 3 percent. Plus there is no law that forbids 2nd cousins from marrying, he didn’t mention 1st cousins, but when I searched this morning I think I found some states that forbid 1st cousins from marrying. I was trying to think why it was always instilled inside of me that marrying your cousin was wrong. I figured that the Bible must’ve said it was wrong, but on the contrary there were numerous times that God commanded certain people to marry their cousin. So basically it is one huge social taboo to marry your cousin. The couple that was on the show actually met and were already dating before they found out they were cousins. Now that would be weird, I’ve always thought about what that would be like if I brought a girl home and my parent’s said, “Micah! What are you thinking? That’s your long lost cousin from Istanbul! Get away from her before you make retarded babies!” But that probably won’t happen because I’m not attracted to any of my cousins…..although there is this one 2nd cousin who was looking mighty fine a few years back. Guitar Jake can attest to this. Everytime he saw her at the local cafe he would pitch a tent, forcing us to stay for an extra 35 minutes. She really was pretty darn cute.

In related news I think I’m going to start taking banjo lessons! That way it’ll be like a mating call to all my cousins.

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The Diverted Post.

Phil and I looked a sweet Gibson guitar tonight in Salem. I was going to post about something funny involving our time together, but luckily for Phil my attention was diverted. I was reading a review on Amazon for a book and I guess there is a new way to spell especially that I was not aware of. The new fangled way is, “erspeicllay”. Yup, I think that person was part of the ‘No Child Left Behind’ movement. Way to go.

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Gopher in my garden crabs in my pants

This just makes me smile all over the place. This video is of Sean singing a tiny excerpt of one of my favorite songs ever. Sean is the brother-in-law of normal jean and part of the extremely awesome band Wallace. I wish I had links or images to show you of this awesome band (hint hint L) but they haven’t played together for years I’m pulling all the tricks outta my bag to get them back together again, at least for a farewell concert. Anyways Sean sings a great song about a gopher in his garden among other things, and he dedicated this little clip to me. Someday I hope to hear the whole thing again.

Sean Doin’ It Well.

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Kinda funny

At least I thought it was.

Brothers on Mother’s Day

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My Mom

I’m not sure what can be said in this space that hasn’t already been said about moms. All I know is I’m glad that my mom didn’t die when she gave birth to me, it was a scary time, but she pulled through. I’m glad that she has always given me the love and space that I needed. I’m glad for so many things that all I can say is ‘thanks mom’.

Thank you for almost birthing me in a 1973 Chevelle. You must’ve sensed my affinity for muscle cars from early on.

Thank you for never letting me forget that you were always in control. I’ll always remember the way you bit your bottom lip as your hand came crashing down repeatedly towards my butt. But also thank you for locking yourslef in your room and crying because you felt so bad about giving me a spanking.

Thank you for all the scrambled hamburger and macaroni and cheese dinners. It was a staple for a time when there was none. Working a full time job, going to school for your master’s, being married AND taking care of two kids left little time for food prep.

Thank you for acting like you had it all together while we were little, but not being afraid to blow a head gasket as we got older. You always kept it real.

Thank you for teaching me the importance of not biting my sister by biting into my fleshy arm. Your mouth looked like that Twizzler mouth from the old commercials, and my arm was the licorice…..I haven’t been able to eat Twizzlers since.

Thank you for helping me out when I went to GFU even though you said you couldn’t. I know this stressed your finances even farther.

Thank you for excepting all my friends and feeding them, I know they can be pigs but you never seemed to mind.

Thank you for telling me that you’d always love me no matter what happened, no matter what I did. For a 14 year old it was such a mountain of reassurance that I’d always be favored in my mom’s eyes.

Thank you for always being proud of me and believing in me.

Thank you for sending me to karate lessons in the 5th grade, you knew how bad I had wanted to go since Karate Kid.

Even though I couldn’t see it then, thank you for never letting my sister and I pick out any candy at the supermarket, you’re right that crap would’ve rotted our teeth out and I like teeth.

Thank you for thinking of me when you used to go to the local video store, surprising me with basketball videos of Magic, or MJ. It was such a warming feeling that you cared about things that I liked.

Thank you for still loving dad after 30 some odd years, it is such a wonderful example for my sister and I to follow.

Thank you for not keeling over dead when I told you I wanted to buy a motorcycle, I’m sure I added a few grays on your head.

And most of all thank you for loving me more than my sister. She was easy to love with all the straight A’s and positive attitude, but since I was happy with C’s and a grumpy attitude I required more love, thank you, I know I’m your favorite.

They say, “There is only one perfect child in the world, and every mother has it”. This may be true, but I feel that more often than not, the same could be said about mothers. I know, because I have the perfect mother.

I love you mom!

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A sea of sound in my ears

Quietly the violins and cellos broke the silence with slight movements of the bows. A short, precise oompa - oompa - oompa to set the foundation for the basoon to rest it’s melody. Slowly the melody climbed higher and higher until the violins crescendoed and bows synchronously pierced the air like soldiers saluting their leader. The violins shrieked, breeching the dam allowing the voices to enter. Relentless waves began to topple over eachother filling the stage, swiftly rushing past the orchestra through the conductor spilling into our seats, flooding our ears. First the bass, then the tenors, followed by the altos and finally the sopranos. They wove themselves together in one fluid motion that swirled through the air. The orchestra ebbed and flowed with them like seaweed floating in a tumulous blue ocean.

Throughout the night the ocean shifted and swooned. At times it crashed with the fury of a thunderstorm, only to die down to to a serene and safe sight. Fingers ran across strings with fierce determination not allowing room for error or second guessing. Bows bounced in delight with every movement of the conducter’s staff. The story of death, sacrifice, forgiveness and redemption was told with unifying voices.

My God it was beautiful. I saw the Oregon Symphony perform Mozart’s Requiem tonight. It seems so expensive to go to the symphony but honestly once I’m there I never regret the money spent, in fact it makes me want to save my pennies to go more often. It’s just so fulfilling, chills run up and down my spine to see music that I love unfold before my eyes. I like it too that there is no fuss, no opening bands, no jerky people, assigned seats, and good lighting. Jeez, I must be getting old. Two hours of solid music and I’m home before 10:30, what a treat. Phil was my hot date since I had no *real* hot date to go with me. When we got there the usher pointed us to our seats. As we approached them I saw a problem. It looked like someone was already sitting in our seats. I talked to the imposter in our seats and she said, “Y’know I can’t believe this, you’re the second person to come down here and say we’re in your seat.” I looked at her ticket and it read just as mine did, Orch A Row U Seat 4. Just then a man came down with the usher saying that he also belonged in that seat, sure enough he had the same assigned seat! Triple booked!! The usher pulled us in the back and presented us with two tickets apologizing for the ‘inconvience’. The new seats? Orch B Row L Seats 13 & 14. Closer and nearly dead center. What a deal!
We had a great view of everything, it was absolutely wonderful.

After the intermission they played John Adam’s ‘On the Transmigration of Souls’ which was something that was put together after the 9/11 incident. It was weird, a huge orchestra, two choirs and recordings of sirens, and people speaking the names of the deceased. I expected something much different. I know it won the Pulitzer prize but honestly I found it to be a little boring. It just never went anywhere, there were a few climatic parts where the celloists were playing so intensely I thought their fingers were going to fall off, but other than that it was a bit slow and chaotic at times, which I get because 9/11 was exactly that.

Without warning, after Adam’s piece was finished they paused, and went right into Mozart’s Ave verum corpus. This was a perfect piece to end the night, especially after the 9/11 tribute. Soft, gentle and very much Mozart. After the last few notes of Ave verum corpus trailed off into nothingness the conductor froze, the choir froze, the orchestra froze, the entire crowd froze. The whole place fell silent, no one moved, there was no extraneous coughing or rustling, no cell phones ringing in the distance just a 10 second moment of silent appreciation. A moment shared by over 2,000 people together, in the same moment. 10 seconds. It felt like an eternity, I loved it. Ten seconds I never wanted to end.

Please listen to Ave verum corpus. Close your eyes and really listen. Maybe just for a moment you can be there too.

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