Archive for July, 2006

Oh man, sharkage.

See, now this is the reason I won’t go surfing besides the fact that I can’t swim, or get water in my ears and I’m deathly afraid of water. I think this tops the cake, I didn’t even know this was possible.

Look how high he gets!

Comments (4)

Verbal Warnings

I bet you didn’t know that Officer Smith of the Oregon State Patrol very rarely gives just a verbal warning for driving 72 in a 55. See I didn’t either. But after he stopped me just to take a look at my license, registration and proof of insurance he decided to share that fun fact with me as well. But fortunately I have dealt with rural police men before, so I knew how to handle the situation.

After he runs all my info in the computer he comes back to get my story

Cop: Are you in a hurry to get somewhere?

Me: Uhh… Gilmore Girls on tonight?

Cop: I don’t think so.

Me: Then, nope. I’m not in a hurry at all!

Cop: Have you always been licensed in Oregon?

Me: Yes? (I thought it was trick)

Cop: Have you ever had a speeding ticket?

Me: Like 10 years ago, but that was from a small town cop and he was just looking to make quota.

Cop: Understandable, well it doesn’t look like you make a habit of speeding, what happened today?

(Flipping through my mental rolodex of excuses trying to find the one that fits)

Me: Honestly officer I was just enjoying the drive so much I didn’t notice my speed. It’s just so beautiful out here and the trees are so full of life and wonderment! The road is paved so perfectly I felt like I was gliding and plus I think I have to poop a little so my colon must’ve been sending signals to my foot to go faster.

Cop: I see. Yes it is very pretty out here. Seeing as how you don’t make a habit of speeding and you’re driving a Kia, in clear concious I just can’t give you a ticket. These Kias take at least 10 miles to reach 60mph so I know you haven’t been speeding for very long. But try to keep it down to 55. If I would’ve written you a ticket it would’ve cost you $142 and judging by your choice of vehicular transportation you wouldn’t have been able to afford it.

With that I shook his hand, thanked him for his kindness and then totally showered his car with gravel as I peeled out to get back on the road. Small town cops love to hear their countryside is the prettiest. This now makes 3 warnings for 3 speeding violations in the last 4 years, I’m done pressing my luck. It really sucks too, because I was making record time.

Comments (2)

txt me BFF4EVA

I’m sort of a pack rat when it comes to emails and text messages. I’m not sure why, I think I just like it when people write me so I want to remember all the happy things they said to me. It’s no wonder that I’m constantly running out of text message room on my cell phone. Today I decided to do some cleaning and came across some choice ones.

“brushzzzzzzzz /dude, wake up and stop being sooooooo gay” –sent to me in the afternoon at 3:14pm

“You safe love? Did you make it ok?” –Sent to me from David

“Sorry wrong # micah. U are my love too though!:)” –Sent 1 minute after the previous message

“Once i start kissing you wont be able to keep your lips closed” –not sent by Dave (thank God!)

“Johnny carson died :(” –Sent by Dave on a sad day.

“Are these still your digits? God i miss your sexy chaps.”

“Im elevatin my foot. Would u bring me some veggies? If no its ok”

“Sure. The krouts will take over all because you need to pack your boxers. Well, if you change your mind text me. I really want to try out those new maps.” –sent just 10 minutes ago

my personal favorite

“THEY SCRAPED MY UTERUS” –Sent by Kat after a visit to the you know what doctor


This sent to me by Phil after reading this entry:

“Put me on your damn blog!”

Comments (4)

Big Money, No Whammys!

I don’t know how it came up but today all of my workmates and I started talking about Jeopardy! and what a good show it is. I don’t make a habit of watching it but I think ever since my childhood I’ve enjoyed watching it. I know my sister goes crazy for it, even if she always shouts out the wrong answers. In fact I don’t personally know anyone that doesn’t like it. BTW if you’re a fan, check out this link, it has the last 22 seasons of Jeopardy! archived. This reminds me, did you know that the show existed before Alex Trebek?! Ridiculous you say? No, it’s true and if that would’ve been a Final Jeopardy! answer I would’ve gotten it wrong. The show used to be hosted by Art Fleming way back in the day. Who the hell is Art Fleming? I don’t know but he was before Alex.

The Jeopardy! conversation led into more discussion about game shows until we came across what can be easily billed as, “The Best Game Show Ever”. Does anyone care to take a guess as to what show that is? Anyone? Anyone? Nope, not ‘Millionaire’, not ‘The Wheel of Fortune’, sorry ‘Let’s Make a Deal’ is wrong. The only show that can live up to such a grandiose title is ‘The Price is Right’. Seriously. How can anyone disagree? Co-worker and I were horrified to hear that everyone else in the office hates that show! They didn’t just find the show annoying, they actually had ill feelings towards Bob Barker and the show. I’m not sure how this is possible but it goes to show that there are some truly vile people that walk amongst us. Most people my age owe their love of The Price is Right to one person, their grandma and I am no different. As a kid I used to get excited when I’d hear those words, “Come on down!” and the camera would frantically pan left and right looking for the ‘lucky contestant’. Oh how I would dream that one day I would hear those words with my name. TPIR is the most exciting game show because it is never the same! One minute a contestant can be guessing whether the price is higher or lower, and the next minute they’re sliding wafers down a large slanted dowled board (plunko…my fav!) And what about the prizes? New cars, bbq’s, chest of drawers, washers and dryers you name it, it’s probably been featured on the show. I think Bob Barker is making some calls to pull in those kind of prizes for contestants across America. Even to this day I still dream about being able to spin that giant money wheel. Although as a tyke I was scared that I’d get sucked underneath the wheel and the delightful boop boop boop of the wheel would slow to a crawl as my little arms tangled beneath the behemoth. I always get a kick out of watching people trying to guess the price of the initial items to get on the show. And I never understood this “$1″ bid. Nothing screams “I’m an idiot that can’t even take an educated guess so I’ll just piggyback on someone else’s” like bidding one dollar. I just don’t get it. Really the way to rake in the dough is the showcases at the end. What a way to go out with a bang. You could either lose it all or even win both showcases! Just the word ’showcase’ screams fun. I think we should include that word more often in our day to day conversations. As a matter of fact, tonight I’m going to showcase my ping pong skills for Dave and Phil. They hate that…..anyways my point is The Price is Right rocks and I hope Bob Barker lives forever b/c he’s already 83 and I have never been on the show. If Bob dies, the show dies and I will never get to spin the big wheel.

Comments (4)

The Reunion

So I actually have a great many thoughts about the whole reunion thing, I’m still processing so I don’t know how many I’ll actually share here, but we’ll see.
I went not really knowing what to expect. The only clues I had as to how a 10 yr. reunion goes was from movies like Romy and Michelle’s H.S. Reunion and Grosse Pointe Blank, but since a bad guy gets stabbed in the neck with a ball point pen in GPB, I really didn’t think these movies were accurate representations of the real thing. For months I have had bizarre and awkward dreams about the reunion and I’d wake up all nervous thinking about it. Dreams about everyone being mean, or dreams that my teeth fell out but no one told me, weird stuff like that. Thankfully when the date finally came I was calm and it didn’t feel like it was any big deal. Instead I found myself genuinely enjoying myself and others. It really is strange to see someone every day in H.S. and then the day you graduate is the last time you see them for a decade, maybe longer. It was nice to catch up with old friends and see how much they have changed. I was surprised to find out that two of my good friends are now ripped. My buddy Mike has turned into a freakin’ body builder! And my friend Nellie who has two kids is a personal trainer. Overall I was impressed at how good most of the women looked! I thought for sure some would have porked out or lost an eye while giving birth, but most of the girls had all their eyes! It seems to be a social thing that the women have to look stunning while the men can do whatever the hell they want. Some of the guys were looking a little doughy around the middle, but for the most part I thought everyone looked nearly the same.

Even though I had squelched the fear of my teeth falling out I still had reservations about feeling 2nd best compared to some of my old classmates and the accomplishments they have done.In the end I discovered that it doesn’t really matter. Tired eyes and sad mouths broke through with tales of marriage, divorce and children. I remembered something I’ve always known but forgot en route to the reunion. Just because the duck is serene upon the lake doesn’t mean he’s not floundering underneath. That’s not to say that everyone has struggled with life to this point, many seemed to be doing wonderful and I’m happy for them. We’re just all at different places so it does no good to compare. I was still slightly sad at the end of the event. I realized that I truly did miss some of these people, and they were great friends. It seemed like the feeling was reciprocated with some. Fortunately thanks to Al Gore and the advent of the internets and cordless cellular telephones (two things that were barely around 10 years ago) I hope to keep in better contact with old friends.

It was good to see that Key, a tall eccentric asian buddy was still as random as he ever was. In the course of 5 minutes you could talk about work, traffic, CSI, tennis courts and the socioeconimic influence of corporate America on third world countries coffee bean production. With him it’s always a roller coaster ride that has no end. I found that many people had really grown out of their shells and spoke more bluntly and directly. EsoPhil flat out told me that he wanted to take martial arts again and maybe Tai Chi, but not that “exercise crap”, the real stuff. ha! Cracked me up coming from someone I’ve only known as soft spoken. Dave L. and I couldn’t believe what a good time we had, there was hardly any awkwardness during the night.

Saturday was good, my bud Tyler and his wife came even though she had just given birth 5 days prior. It was way too hot but a few people still showed up. For me, the complete surprise of the weekend was near the end of the reunion on Saturday. My driver to the park failed to mention that he had prior obligations and needed to leave early. I was not ready to go but a few friends offered me a ride so I stayed. Two of those friends were Allison and Nikki. I hadn’t talked to these girls in a decade, but we had the best time after the reunion. We talked over a wide range of topics and I was floored to find that we had so much in common. It was the proverbial cherry on top of my reunion sundae. There is nothing like the feeling of relating to someone on a whole new level and unreservedly opening yourself up to them. I loved it. Life sure is funny at times.

I can say the the whole experience was nothing like I thought it would be. I actually had fun! Social status walls were knocked down and everyone acted normal and pleasant. My teeth stayed in my head and I received several comments on how young I looked. So much so, one person kept asking me if I used facial creams or anything. The answer is no I don’t but sometimes I do remember to wash my face. I think the 20 yr. reunion will be really fun. Because by then the men will actually be filling out, balding and some of the women will look a bit haggard after raising multiple kids. Should be fun.

A few pictures for your viewing pleasure.

This picture was taken by Mike’s wife. I think we all know what was on her mind.

This is Tyler describing his wife give birth and the role he played.

Dave R. looking like he’s not sure where he is.

Comments (3)

Trapped by my invisible fence!

This video here shows a guy trapping a bug by drawing a circle. Interesting no doubt, I actually felt bad for the little guy, but at the end he figures it out.

Comments (5)

Case of the moondays

Today sure felt stormy. Too much going on in my head to think about anything. Just numb and dumb. Luckily I had the sultry voice
of Bobby Bland to pull me through this Stormy Monday. Someday I’ll have it figured out.


Radio Day

On Thursday night I received a message from my buddy Nick about the fact that he was going to be on the radio station 99.5 “The Wolf” on Friday morning. He said he didn’t know what he was going to be doing, but that all of us (his friends) should listen. I tuned in since it was actually during my normal commute. When I flipped the dial I thought something was terribly wrong. Out of my speakers quivered the sounds of Garth Brooks, Vince Gill and a plethora of other country artists I am unable to name. I shook my fist and looked towards the sky, “why God? Why must I endure such things for friends?!” In desperation I pushed the AM button hoping that maybe Nick meant AM. Alas, it was not to be. I turned the FM back on, just in time to hear a singer warble something about a honky tonk woman, a tire, whisky and a cow.

Luckily the music soon ended and sure enough my guitar playing buddy was live on the radio. Seems that the wacky morning crew had been waking up their intern early all week and today Nick was going to blast the poor soul out of dreamland. It was neat hearing a bud not only talk on the radio but to actually play across the airwaves. Nick said it was fun and he got in a nice plug for his band Pillars of Nein.

Later that day I was in the car heading towards Dave’s house so we could carpool to our 10yr. reunion. While listening to 89.9 the DJ came on and said they were starting request night. Right then I remembered that earlier in the week I had actually given a suggestion on their website for a song to play on request night. I could hardly believe my ears when the radio host said, “The first song we’re going to play is Silent Woods by Antonin Dvorak as requested by our listener Micah.” As if that wasn’t cool enough the host goes on to say that he really appreciated what I had to say about the song, and proceeds to read my comment on the air. It was really cool and I had nobody to share it with, but I know that at least a few thousand listeners heard the song and afterwords they were probably saying, “y’know that Micah was right, that *is* a really beautiful song with a wonderous opening, such good taste this man has…..he must be hot.” Or something along those lines. :)

I was jazzed after that and it set me in such a good mood, perfect for the reunion.

More on that later.

Comments (3)

Beethoven the head chopper

The Coriolan Overture, Opus 62 by Ludwig reminds me of chopping heads off. I know it seems odd to say something like that in regards to classical music, and I assure you that I’m not a blood thirsty scoundrel, but ever since the first time I heard this song it’s what came to mind and I just can’t shake it. During the opening notes all I see is a samurai slowly drawing back his cuspate, cold katana with the light gleaming off the edge of the blade. During the abrupt “shunck!” his sword slices through a fleshy neck like an axe through a juicy watermelon. Then silence… the blood drips from his steel sabre. The process is repeated and he tensely draws back again until ferocious energy is released as another helpless head plunges towards the ground. In my head it’s quite a scene! During the opening sequence I count five (maybe five and a half) heads being lopped off. I say maybe 5.5 because the last ’shunck’ is a bit weak as our hero is tiring and so I imagine that maybe the sword only goes halfway through, hard to say.

Anyways it’s really a neat song and the ending is so serene and peacefully you would’ve never guessed that it all started with head chopping. If you’re interested click this and take a listen, and see how many heads you hear falling to the floor. I’d put the whole song up but I fear that most people would grow tired of a nine minute head chop song. So you’re just getting the intro. Oh and if you have an awesome surround sound type stereo system this sounds awesome.


Comments (2)

well stink

I was going to blog tonight but my website was down all afternoon, and now that I’m heading to bed, lo and behold!! Look, the SQL DB decided to perk back up and start working again.

Comments (9)

« Previous entries