Archive for October, 2006

Some people are creative

I thought these were funny

The little face on that last guy looks so sad!

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Finally it happened! Kinda.

So I went to an All Hallow’s Eve party the other night and while I was stuffing my face full of nacho cheese and meatballs I looked up and suddenly realized it was happening to me. After all this time spent waiting, wondering how or if I could ever be a part of one, here I was. I was finally at a Myspace party. What you ask? Let me explain. When I first joined the social networking phenomenon known as myspace I quickly realized there was a part of living and socializing that I had completely missed out on. Maybe it was the fact I attended a Quaker college or spent most evenings in my room playing video games and doing handstands, who knows….but as I clicked through random profiles my eyes were filled with images of women dressed as sexy maids, nurses, angels/demons basically everything! Even sexy nerds! Impossible you say? Not at these parties. I’m not a huge partier but I’ve been to a few in my day and none of them ever had this element to them. So I had to wonder to myself, ‘where are all these myspace parties taking place?’ and ‘why am I not invited?’. Well call your momma! The case has been solved and at the tender age of 28 I have tasted the sweet nectar of a myspace party.

They all take place in Vancouver, Washington! And now it all makes sense. Vancouver is such a sleepy little place and it is the perfect place to hide one of these parties. I never go to Vancouver unless I’m in the mood for stepping in horse poo, so it makes sense that I haven’t been to one of these. The party was fun, I wasn’t into dressing up so I just threw on my RC Cola shirt and claimed that I was a hunky delivery driver, and y’know as the night wore on and the alcohol slowly replaced the blood in people’s veins, it worked, people believed me! YES! Unfortunately the host of the party drank a little too much and had to drive her BUUUUUUick to that great white porcelain throne.

I was thinking about it today and when did Halloween become a holiday for adult women to dress up as everything sexy? It is the day where they can safely wear the least amount of clothing and not look out of place. Weirdness. So here the costumes of the night in no particular order of sexiness:

A sexy playboy bunny

A sexy pirate with pink and black stripes

A sexy Maid

A sexy Angel

A sexy Lil’ Red Riding Hood

A sexy Girl in a leather mini skirt –don’t really know what she was supposed to ‘be’

A sexy tinkerbell

A sexy construction Worker

A sexy Princess Toadstool

Next year I’m going as a sexy web developer!! Huzzah!

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National Blog Posting Month

Some of you may have noticed there is a gun pointing at you at the top left-hand corner of the page. Be not alarmed! It is merely a drawing, there will be no hot lead flung at you, yet. More than anything I think it is pointed at me, ‘the blogger’ to remember that in one week I will be required to blog everyday for the whole month of November. Those that know me, know this is a nearly impossible feat, but I am up for the challenge. I used to be criticised for not updating enough, well no more! For the month of November I will be coming out of your cheeks and increasing your pants size. When you beg for mercy I will scoff and say, “we’re only on day 17!!! You get 13 more days of my marshmellowy goodness!”

This will be good for me and if I do it, there’s a chance to win 1 million dollars which can only be redeemable in the form of 6 months of free web hosting. If you have a blog follow the link behind the gun, and enter the contest as well.

Hang on people, this may get rocky.

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Insane Guitar Solo

This isn’t very long, so watch it. This guy is nuts on the guitar! I wish I had these skillz.

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Look up!

Check out this time lapse video of the northern lights:

I can’t believe how bright it gets in some parts! It washes out a bit, way cool. I think one of the coolest things of the video is the stars moving. It looks so cool the way the big dipper comes into view in the middle of the video and turns up. Living in the city it’s easy to forget we’re spinning and the stars shift. I like it.

I’ve only seen the northern lights once. All my years growing up I was fascinated by them but they never showed up in Idaho. When I was in my early twenties I took a trip deep into Canada, and I was told there was a good chance I was going to see the lights. The whole week I was there, it was always too cloudy or they just weren’t forming. The last night I was there we all looked and waited and nothing. I was bummed, and went to bed ticked. After laying there for half an hour I got up and stepped out onto the tiny cabin’s porch and behold! Before me the sky lit up with broad brushstrokes of yellow and green, ever changing and shifting with movement beneath an unknown painter’s hand. It was spectacular and I freaked out, successfully rousing everyone awake to see the glory. We all stood out in the cold admiring the display of natural beauty until it slowly started to drift away. If you’ve never seen the Aurora Borealis go to Greenland as I hear they have the best seat in the house.

While we’re on the subject check out this photo of the lights from space:

Did you know Saturn and other planet’s get ‘em too? No? Well look!

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Most of you don’t know her, but I’m takin’ a moment to tell my special friend Normal Jean Happy Birthday! She turns something seven today and can use all the good bday wishes she can get! I met this fine wonder of a woman many years ago back at Mt. Hood Community College. I was a scared little lamb in those days and NJ saw me as easy meat to corrupt and sink her teeth into. Fortunately, she was gentle with me in those tender times and there was very little corrupting. Fast forward seven years and we’re still good friends. In fact at work she has been labled my ‘married girlfriend’. She’s happily married, but she’s the only girl that visits me for lunch at work from time-to-time and when coworkers saw us talking in her car, people began to talk. Scandalous! But I don’t mind, she’s the best married girlfriend a guy could ever ask for. Whenever I’m feeling blue or fat she’s quick to tell me that I’m looking good and not fat. She’s probably one of the most musically talented girls I know who plays the guitar, drums, washboard, saxaphone, piano, flute, clarinet, triangle, and a myriad of other woodwinds and instruments proficiently. She’s fiercely loyal and caring about her loved ones making us all feel special. She still manages to get embarrassed when she’s trying to eat and food gets stuck in her teeth, making her check her teeth every 2 minutes. It’s funny because it makes me feel like we’re 14 yr. olds on a first date. But we’re not! Remember?! She’s maaaaaarrrrrrrrrriiiiiiied.

Here’s to you NJ, I hope your day is fun and happy and full of love and sandwiches between your teeth. You deserve it!

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The loss of certain things

I’ve been watching some videos of these old guys here and here on Youtube recently. It’s funny to think how I’ve changed over the years. I used to think that old people were kinda weird and I found it hard to believe that they ever thought or felt the same way you or I do. Something about them always seemed disconnected from the world. Maybe it wasn’t them that felt disconnected but society’s attitude towards them, including mine. I’m glad that my eyes are opening up and I’ve really begun to realize the value in the elderly. Sure they piss me off when they get in the left lane on the freeway and drive 13mph, or back out of their driveways without looking, but get them out of a car and they are mostly like you and me. In fact they are you and me. They often have the same fears or desires that the rest of us do, and really each and every one of them are walking history books. That last point is the one I have come to embrace in the last few years. It excites me to hear them talk about their lives but it makes me sad because old people die like flies on a windowsill, and with each one passing I feel we lose a little bit of knowledge. There will be a day when no one alive remembers living through WWII or not having indoor plumbing or hardly anyone owned a TV…etc. Even though we have videos and cameras to document the passing of things, it’s always better coming from a person that actually experienced it and to witness their eyes light up over a memory or see the sorrow when they speak of the tragedy. I feel there is a lack of respect towards old people in this country and really that is the greatest tragedy of growing old, society forgetting about you. Other cultures embrace their old ones and regard them as wise, I think we all should.

One thing that seems to change with the passing of each generation is langugage. As the death and rebirth of people ebbs and flows so does the use of words. I love listening to older folks and hearing some of the words they use to describe things, its often very different from the way we talk. After watching some of those videos and talking to my g-ma I’ve been thinking about words that I wished were used more commonly in a day-to-day basis. I sometimes feel our language is stale and we’ve let some good sayings or words fall into disuse. Plus, thanks to computers everything seems to get abbr. in our day and age. I’m guilty of this, but we should put a stop to it. Your ‘cell’ or ‘cell phone’ should rightfully be called a ‘cordless cellular telephone’ or ‘mobile cellular telephone’, I think that makes it more clear and leaves no room for confusion as to what type of communication device I’m talking about. I suppose no words can ever be lost, but close. The less we use of them the more distant they become, most people don’t use thesauruses on a regular basis so how are we to remember these oldies, but goodies?

I have compiled a list of words that I’d like to see come back in style, so if you hear me use these words you know what’s up. Oh and YOU should start using these goodies and your own as well, let’s bring ‘em back in style. If we all do it, it’ll trickle through humanity. I also asked a few friends about the words they’d like to hear again, their lists are under mine.

Davenport — A large couch. This is my favorite!
Kelvinator — What they used to called Refrigerators! I love it!
Trousers — Pants.
Jalopy — An old broke down car.
Flapjacks — Pancakes. I love this word and try to use it when I go to a breakfast joint.
Parlor — Living room. I think this just sounds so fancy, like we should put on our smoking jackets and leather slippers.
Permanent — This is more of a grandma word for ‘perm’, like when you get your hair done. Cracks me up.
Sixes and sevens — confusion or disarray. “I’m all sixes and sevens today”.
Good heavens! — Total grandma term.
Oh for Pete’s sake! — Another one from grandma, can usually be heard around the same time as ‘good heavens’.
Concur — agree.
Rest my bones — I never use this, but should, I love to rest my bones.
Out of Humor — Upset, frustrated.

My Co-Workers List:
Tomfoolery — Silly behavior
Hornswoggle — To swindle or cheat someone
Rad — Cool/Neat (This one sure did rise and fall fast eh?)

Normal Jean’s List:

From the 20’s:
And How!! ~ which means, I strongly agree.

From the 50’s:
Blast! ~ As in, that party was a blast! Super fun!
Daddy-o ~ just ’cause it’s so freakin’ cool
Fast ~ a sexually active person. And it’s so much better than Ho! Makes you sound very active. ;) That girl is fast!

From the 80’s:
Gnarly ~ very good
Barf me out ~ (variations include: Barf me out the door. And also, Gag me with a spoon.)

Also one that I cant find the origin, when someones says something amusing or tells a dumb joke i like to say, “That’s rich!”

Phil’s List:
Lazy Susan — a rotating tray on a tabletop.
Mopar — The automobile parts and service arm of the Daimler/Chrysler American brand car manufacter.

There you have it, some excellent words to use and keep alive. I’d love for all of you to come to my parlor and rest your bones on my davenport. You can take your trousers off and while you’re doing that I could make you some flapjacks and some orange juice fresh out of the Kelvinator. We could pass the food on the lazy susan and talk about how Betty is one fast cat, don’t you concur? Feel free to comment with your own antiquated words, I’d be interested in hearing some other doosies. If you have any grandparents left, don’t take them for granted, they’ve seen more than you can probably imagine, and listen to their words as they tell you about growing up in such tumultuous times, its important, if not for you, for them. Also, if you didn’t click on those videos of the old guys, you should. The man “Martin” under the second link recently died after posting 5 or 6 videos, and the last video is his wife telling the YouTubers about it. Sad. But it sounds like he lived quite a life and left a great legacy, that’s what is important. His bones are truly at rest.

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The Departed

I saw The Departed over the weekend, and it is a GREAT movie. Even though many of my dear readers wouldn’t dare see a rated “R” movie, me being the uncircumcised Philistine that I am, I had no trouble going and enjoying the debauchery. Plenty of cussing and violence to keep your ears and eyes burning throughout the two and a half hours. A few twists and questions durnig the film will keep you wondering ‘how is this going to end?’ well I’m here to say, I’m not going to tell you. Go see it for yourself you lazy dog! It’s ok, God can’t see through movie theaters*, He doesn’t have to know, just tell Him you’re going to see Open Season and everything will be A OK! Seriously go see it!

*I don’t actually know if this is true or not, it’s just my ploy to build your trust so you go see the movie

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This article about computers killing handwriting is interesting. I agree that it’s bad that less and less focus is put upon handwriting for children. They should learn and practice the basics during those crucial first stages at school. The thing that I never understood was the switch from printing to cursive. Being a genius, I am naturally left-handed and the only drawback to being left-handed besides dying sooner and not being able to use scissors, is trying to learn and write cursive. Nothing says literary fun like dragging your hand through fresh ink as you try to connect letters with little lines that look like the sagging velvet ropes to keep you in, or out at the movie theater. I hated writing in cursive in grade school, the writing looked horrible, my hand would hurt and the pinkie and ring finger of my left hand would be covered in ink. So annoying.

Like I said earlier, my frustration comes from the fact that they make you switch to cursive, and for several years that’s all you’re allowed to use in school, until high school. Then suddenly they say, “write however you want, just make sure I can read it” at first I kept writing in cursive b/c it’s all I knew for 5 years but eventually it turned into a mixture of both printing and longhand, something like prursive. It’s ugly and I noticed that most of my guy friends have the same crap going on in their writing! Take a look:

Some words are 100% printing while others are mostly cursive. Why teach us two ways and then tell us, it doesn’t matter?! Does anyone know? Of course the almost sure fire exception to this rule of bad handwriting is girls. Nearly all of them have pretty handriting or unique handwriting…etc..etc. Why do they take such pride to writing well? Is it because they pass so many notes back in the day? I seriously don’t know any girls that have bad handwriting. In fact I had a girlfriend that once got an interview because the people were so impressed with her unique style of handwriting, I know that will never happen to me. In fact I’ve often thought that maybe I’ve been nixed from interviews because they couldn’t read my name. Sucks. Oh well, maybe a trip to the store will lift my spirits.

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Congrats to ABC

My buddy Tony didn’t do much on Wednesday, but his wife popped out another kid, therefore I have to say congratulations! I was trying to get them to name the kid Micah but instead they went with “jory”(sp?). I didn’t even know that was a name, but it is now! Anyways, congrats Tony, this blog entry is for you.

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