Archive for October, 2006

Ebay Auctions

Hey, here’s some stuff I’m selling on ebay. Help a poor brutha out. Two guitar pedals and some staples for a Canon Color Copier, don’t ask how I acquired the staples, just know I got ‘em. Bid on my auctions and make me rich.


Boss Mega Distortion


Danelectro Fab Tone


Canon Staple Cartridges


Canon Staples

Happy bidding! Bid high!

Comments (2)

towel tommyrot

Have you ever been at a friend’s house and upon washing your hands in the restroom you discover there is no towel to dry your hands? Yeah, that sucks but even worse do you ever discover there are several large ‘body’ towels and no hand towel? How do you decide which one to use? Which ones are the clean ones? Do you ever start using one and realize that its still ‘moist’ from some earlier activity? I often wonder what kind of activity. Was this towel used to dry my friend’s naked body? I sure hope I’m not touching the same place certain parts of him were touching earlier. Or, was this towel used to mop up the overflow from when the toilet backed up? Sure hope I’m not touching that mess. I can understand one towel being a bit damp, but all three?! What happened in this bathroom just a few hours ago that caused three towels to be used simultaneously?! And why are none of them in the dirty clothes basket? Strange happenings in people’s bathrooms.

This reminds me of the time I was living with Yoshi, a very eccentric fellow from Japan. He loved to take the longest, hottest showers more than any person I’ve ever known. After one of his epic showers, I entered the bathroom to conduct some ‘business’. After washing my hands I reached for the towel, but found it sopping wet. Now, I’ve never been to Japan, so I wasn’t sure how they take showers, but I was mostly sure they didn’t put all the water on a hand towel and then wring it out over top of themselves. I asked Yoshi what happened to the towel and he informed me that once he got out of the shower he realized he didn’t bring a towel in with him. Rather than nakedly sprint the 1.7 feet to his bedroom door or put on his undies and walk there to retrieve a towel he decided to just use the hand towel to dry his whole body………and fold it neatly back onto the hand towel rack for the next person to use. As punishment I made him wear the towel on his head the rest of the day.

At least he was courteous enough to fold it. That’s more than I can say for the friends that don’t even leave a towel out for your hands. Although if they’re using it to dry their whole body, and didn’t have a clean one to put out, I’ll gladly continue drying my hands on my jeans and socks. What do you do?

Comments (7)

Bomberman

That’s such a cool game but that’s not what brings me here today. Growing up and watching movies I always thought it’d be a cool job to be part of the bomb squad on the police force. I had illusions of grandeur about going into a building, discovering an elaborate bomb and finding myself face-to-face with three wires: Red, Yellow, White….er those are RCA cables I mean: Red, Black, Green. Or mabye it was Red, Green, Blue? So many colors, I don’t know the exact array but I know there is always a red one. See here’s the reason I don’t think I ever went into that biz, indecisiveness. I like colors and if I had to take a stab at choosing one, I think I’d still be trying to decided as the 20 sticks of dynamite detonate, blowing me into tiny little pieces. Not a good careeer choice if you end up splattered on the wall.

As I’ve grown older and knowledge has increased I see that things don’t really happen like they do in the movies. I can’t fly, my car can’t fly and now we have robots to go retrieve bombs from buildings. Instead of me being hoisted up on people’s shoulders in victory, we’re hoisting up robots. This is just another example of the robot’s plan to take over the world. They start small by vacuming floors and replacing pets, they give us humans security by retrieving bombs and then BLAM launch the world into a desolate dystopia with their superior gripping power and car building skills. I see it coming, because I use my eyes!

Even though the robots and my indecsiveness have successfully edge me out of an opportunity with the bomb squad I still think it would be one of the best jobs. Because honestly, what does the bomb squad really do? They blow stuff up. Regardless of what it is. If someone makes a call and reports a ’suspicious’ bag/package/plant/person, in comes the bomb squad to retrieve the threat and deal with it accordingly. More often than not, that entails blowing up the package even when there were no explosives in it. A typical news reports reads:

“Today at central middle school a suspicious black bag was found in the middle of the playground. The school was evacuated and the bomb squad was called in. The bag was transported to the detonation facilities in Eastern Oregon where it was successfully detonated. Upon closer examination the police found that there were no explosives contained in the bag, and what was believed to be sticks of dynamite protruding from the bag were merely rolls of Mentos in red wrapping paper, to be given as gifts for valentines day….”

So, right after I finished writing my mock new report above I thought I’d go online and see if I could find a real one. Yup:

The bomb squad from the Salt Lake City Police Department detonated a suspicious package Monday night found in the parking lot of the ARUP building at the University of Utah’s Research Park. Tuesday, a man stepped forward to say the device that was blown up was actually a GPS survey machine that had been set up to collect data. The black box with an antennae sticking out of it was called in to police as a “suspicious package” about 6 p.m. Monday. Not being able to determine exactly what was in the box, a robot (damn robots!) blew it up twice to render it useless. As it turns out, the man who left the box there works for a local engineering firm, said Salt Lake City police detective Joe Cyr.

When blowing up something once just isn’t enough, do it again!
And another story:

Flight 188, which left Toronto’s Pearson Airport at 9:15 p.m. Monday was an hour into its flight to India, via Birmingham, England, when a passenger reported to flight crew that he found a suspicious package in one of the bathrooms, Sgt. Todd Moore of the Peel Regional Police told The Associated Press on Tuesday. The pilot decided to return to Toronto, where the jet was taxied to a remote terminal. The flight was evacuated at about 11 p.m. Bomb disposal and canine units examined the package, which was “removed from the plane and rendered safe,” Moore said. The package was detonated, authorities said.

I found several other articles where the squad determined the object to be ‘harmless’ but proceeded to blow it up anyway! That’s like the fire department showing up to your house and starting a fire to put it out, or the EMTs throwing you down and putting you on the defibrillator even though your heart is beating fine. I guess the bomb squad’s attitude is, “Well we came all this way…..and we’ve got a truck full of explosives, we might as well blow something up!”

Which brings me to my point, it really is the coolest job to have!

Comments (4)

Googlerific

I thought I’d take a moment to tell you that google continues to do it right. The latest and greatest thing that I’ve been impressed with is the ability to customize the look of the google homepage. Now, I know they’ve had this option available for awhile but for some reason I never saw the point, until now. I started poking around and found out that you can quickly add TONS of cool things to the page. Pretty much anything that your little heart desires. I was especially excited when I found out I could add all the blogs I was reading everyday. I usually spend a fair amount of time going to 5-7 different news sites a day, and reading 15+ blogs a day (what else am I supposed to do at work all day?), and now I can have all of that on one page. It’s pretty sweet. I took some screenshots so you know what I’m talking about. Here is what my google homepage looks like. That page contains all the news sites. And here is what my 2nd tab looks like. As you can see this is the page of blogs I read…don’t fret if yours is not on there, I’m still adding!

To get started with this just go to google.com/ig and have fun.

Comments (2)

Village Sniper

This video will not stop cracking me up. Just a sign of my sick humor. I love it.

Comments (5)

A wee bit disturbing

I keep seeing all my friends doing this face scanning/celebrity look alike thing on myspace and other sites, so I thought I would give it a whirl and see which famous hot celebrity I look like. As it was processing, I felt a twinge of excitement, “will I look similar to brad pitt? Will I look like the Fonz or Eric Clapton??” I could hardly wait. To say I was a little disappointed is an understatment. My results below:

Apparently the celebrity I most resemble at 72% is Ehud Olmer the current Prime Minister of Israel. Sweet. Number three, a young Bob Dylan ain’t bad but number four?! Daddy Yankee a puerto rican?! C’mon!

Comments (5)

More than the sniffles

Growing up in my family didn’t come with many luxuries when you got sick. You were expected to suck it up and go to work or school regardless of whether or not you ‘felt like it’ or ‘felt sick’. I used to say that my sister and I were not allowed to stay home from school unless we were bleeding out of our eyeballs. Even then it would have been a case brought before the judges (my parents) to decide if we were indeed in sad enough shape to miss a day from school.

Judge #1: What do you think honey?

Judge #2: Well both eyes look to be in sad shape.

J#1: Yes, look his left eye is actually squirting blood with each heartbeat.

J#2: I see that, but I’m not convinced that he’s sick enough to miss out on his schooling. Even through all the swelling of his right eye I can see some his retina which means he can see. Thus, OFF TO SCHOOL!

J#1: That settles it, OFF TO SCHOOL!

…….and you all think I’m joking. I remember one morning waking up feeling awfully nauseated. I shuffled my little feet to the kitchen to make some toast and on the first bite threw up in the sink.

Me: I threw up mommy, I don’t want to go to school!

Mom: You’ll be fine!

I went to school that day. I heard the phrase ‘you’ll be fine’ quite a bit as kid. It was a quick little phrase that honestly meant, “I do not have the time or the desire to deal with this right now, so suck it up and get ready!”. Both parents used it proficiently. I do remember one day where I stayed home but only b/c I could barely stand up. After a visit to the ER and an x-ray it was determined that I was extremely dehydrated and had pneumonia. Sucked big time, but I finally got to stay home! All this was most frustrating since I had a friend that could and would stay home if he had the ’sniffles’. And sometimes he admitted to me that he was just faking so he could pass the next level on Bionic Commando. I’m not naming any names, I’ll just say that he was a really good friend.

The militaristic way my parents raised me became evident the last two days since I was feeling less than 100%. I had a nagging sore throat and a neck/back ache. I felt this way most of the weekend, but once Monday rolled around I didn’t even think twice about going into work even though I have a ton of vacation time built up and ready to use. Once my co-workers found out I was feeling ill they freaked out. And by noon o’ clock they were nearly pleading with me to go home so that they wouldn’t get sick. This launched us into a whole discussion on the different ways we were all raised. Seems many of their parents made them stay home when they were feeling ill, not so much b/c their parents felt sorry for them, but more for the courtesy of not infecting all the other little children. What a foreign concept to me! My parents were never that considerate of all the other little children. I guess their attitude was, if the other kids catch it, they probably deserve it. This is also a foreign concept because in most of the work environments I’ve been in, it’s frowned upon to call in sick for your shift. Not here, and now at the end of the day my boss was pissed at me because she felt like she was getting sick. I rolled my eyes and thought, ‘oh please! you’ll be fine!’

Anyone else here stay home at the slightest sniffle or scratchy throat? It’s ok to admit that you’re a wuss looking out for your fellow mankind. I just wanna know who I can cough on.

Comments (8)

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