Archive for April, 2007

I didn’t die

I was in a land far far away! Soon I will have the strength to tell about my journeys! Behold! I will return at once.



I’m a bit sad right now. I was reading my High School Alumni paper and I was surprised to see something about a Colleen Richmond passing away. I had a professor at GFU with the same name, but I didn’t think it was the same person. Sadly, I visited my alma mater’s website, typed in her name and sure enough she died back in January. I didn’t even know she as sick!

I had two classes with Colleen, both of them English/Lit classes. I can honestly say that both classes were very enjoyable. She made the text interesting and her excitement fueled my excitement. I enjoyed her because she always had a knowing smirk on her face, whether she was busy teaching or just walking through campus, she seemed to enjoy life. I didn’t mind writing papers for her class because I knew she really read them, her comments were usually encouraging or funny and her grading was fairly nice. Thinking back, I recall meeting several important people in her class that influenced my life, one of them being my dear friend Jasper. Crazy where we meet people and how they influence us whether they’re a teacher or a friend. I’m sad that Colleen has gone, but I can’t be too sad because she’s probably out there somewhere, with her ever present smirk, enjoying the afterlife.



This past weekend I took the time to see the lateset Tarantino/Rodriguez film titled Grindhouse. If you don’t know, Grindhouse is really a double feature of two different movies called “Planet Terror” and “Death Proof”. If you are thinking about seeing this double feature, be sure to empty your bladder prior to the showing as you will be sitting through three full hours of movie maddness. And it was all maddness indeed.

The first movie is a throwback to the horror “Night of the living dead” films of yesteryear. It’s even made to look old with crackles, missing reels and scratchy frames. But make no mistake, this is not your daddy’s living dead. It’s bloody, gory, gratuitous, silly, and just a whole lot of fun. In our day and age we think we’ve seen just about every gross scene in films, but this film has a few surprises that will make you look away from the screen as you squirm in your seat. Sometimes some of the stuff in it is so ridiculous it’s down right funny.

After an intermission filled with fake and funningly disturbing movie previews the second film “Death Proof” began. It was a much slower paced film compared to the first movie and there seemed to an effort in character development. Half way through the second film I was confused as to where everything was going. New characters were introduced with more development and it began to feel like a whole ‘nother movie. Fortunately for me, there were cars. Muscle cars that made me stop asking “where is this going” and instead, enjoy the beauty of mopar muscle on the giant movie screen. By the end of the second film I was pleased, there was a great chase scene and a little violence, just enough to round out the evening. I’m trying really hard to not give anything away, so if I seem a bit vague it’s because I am.

If you like over the top gore and violence wrapped with confusing character development and big block engines, then grindhouse is just the thing for you. It’s quirky and funky, but overall a great time. Just don’t bring your 6 year old… someone did when we went. 99% of it is not suited for kids. Other than that, go see it.

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Open house blog

Watch this link

I thought this was pretty funny. Too bad it’s not true to life, although I am sitting her at an open house blogging and catching up on other internet activities. Seems like I never have the time to sit and read people’s blogs or watch funny videos so open houses are a good place to do it at. The real estate stuff is going well. I feel like the crazy hours and long days with no pay is starting to pay off. I’ve started to see money come my way and I see that more will be coming in the future. I am pro this. Although I’d like to buy my own place, my first order of business is to pay down some bills. Outside of school loans I really don’t have a ton of debt compared to most folks in America, but regardless I’d like to get things more under control before I have to start doling out for a large house payment. Sometimes I still can’t believe I’m doing this, but it’s nice since much of the time it doesn’t really feel like ‘work’. Anytime you have a job that doesn’t feel like a job, you know you’re on a good path. Plus, what other job allows you to go into people’s homes and eat their food while they’re gone?

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Today he turns old

As most of you are at home celebrating a joyous Easter with your family, I think we should take a moment and remember that it is a dark day for some. Y’see today, my dear friend David turns 30 years old. This may not seem old to some, but let me assure you, it is and he is. It’s a good thing his birthday fell on Easter for such a monumental age. It’s like, “here’s some eternal life, you’re gonna need it…..b/c you’re almost dead!”. It’s been a good 30 years for old Dave, he’s had a good run. I remember the days he used to play with little green army men and stay home from school because he had the sniffles. Now he’s grown into a man that plays with little racecars and is excited about obtaining an ogre slaying knife that has a +9 against ogres. It’s amazing that he even got married and no longer orders mudslides as his ‘drink of choice’ when we’re out on the town.

Yup, much has changed for old Dave in the last thirty years I hope he can make it another thirty. What’s that smell?? Oh it’s death coming to gather his harvest of souls. Throw your walker aside Dave! You can beat this old age epidemic! Raise your glass my friends and give a toast to the old man with three nipples. Do it soon, before his final breath has left him.

Happy Birthday Dave!!!

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Is it really necessary for them to tell us this?

I just saw a commercial that showed people parking in their garage, getting out, coming back in, driving away, coming back, parking…etc. The narrator says, “Run down by the daily run around? Try grouping your trips together! You’ll spend less time on the road, and more time on the things you really enjoy!”

Why does this commercial even exist? Isn’t the point of commercials to advertise products, services and pills that we all need? Is there a family at home watching tv that sees this commercial and says, “oooooh! We should combine all our errands! We could save more time!” Don’t most people instictively know this? I do not understand this commercial. It really annoys me. It’s a weird time we live in when we have adverts like this.

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sickly inventions

When you’re sick, do you ever find yourself thinking about inventing machines or products that will instantly relieve your discomfort? I do. Since this week I’ve developed a rattling, raunchy cough I’ve decided to invent the lung sucker (now with throat numbing capabilities!). This handy device would consist of a small tube connected to a small vacum. On the end of the tube would be a powerful spray and/or salve that would effectively numb your throat rendering your gag reflex useless. A sensor on the end of the tube would find your lung hole, insert itself and suck out the nasty, annoying lung butter that causes you much discomfort and distress during the day. I have dreamt of this device all week. Ever since my cough turned……’juicy’ it has plagued my mind.
Earlier in the week I thought about another tube-ish device that I could shove up my nose into my sinuses and clean them out. This would also have sucking capabilities, but on the end of the tube would be either menthol, horseradish or cocaine. Anything that would clear my nasal passages and allow me to breathe.

These are just two of the many devices I have thought up over the years. Have any of you thought of anything?

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Planet Earth

If you haven’t already, you really need to check out the new series on the Discovery channel called “planet earth”. It’s really not boring and it’s put together in such a way it makes the little things about our world so very interesting. Don’t worry if you’ve missed some episodes, they seem to show a ton of reruns on Sunday mornings, so set your Tivo to record and capture some of the goodness. Tonight they had a small blip about birds of paradise. There are some funky and beautiful birds out there, and some truly psycho ones. Some of these mating rituals looks like things I’ve seen other guys try.Take a look:

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