Archive for November, 2007

Nablopomo end

I was a secret Nablopomo blogger. I signed up for it but didn’t really advertise it out there b/c I thought I was going to be gone more and too busy. Guess I surprised myself. Although I admit a few of my posts were lacking in contact at least I was able to post everyday for the month of November. Sweet! I’m a winner in my own eyes :)

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I just bought a pair of man-mittens aka Mattens and I’m fairly excited. This is probably the first time I’ve owned mittens since 1984. A big day for sure. They’re not 100% mittens, the rounded front part folds back and attaches to the top of the glove revealing fingerless gloves below. This is good in case I want to kick some ass Rocky style. In the old days men used to roll up their sleeves when they were about to tangle, now we fold back our mittens. Times change. I can survive most Portland winters without worrying too much about cold hands, but this weekend I’m going to Lapine, Oregon and Spokane, Washington. They lack the degrees in temperature that I’m used to up here, so I was told to come prepared. Apparently the other day in Lapine it was one degree. Reminds me of the movie “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” when Steve Martin turns to John Candy as they shiver in the back of a pickup in the dead of winter and Steve asks, “What do you think the temperature is out here?” John deadpans “One.” I don’t want to be caught in weather like that without the proper finger protection, and I figured I deserved some mittens.

Hope they work.

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Not a good sign

There are certain things in life that stand out as warning signs for us humans. Road signs along this highway called life that let us know a certain path is a dead end or a bumpy road. For example if your tour guide in Hawaii says it’s perfectly safe to swim with the sharks, but he’s missing one leg. Or your childhood friend that has only one eye, yet declares that slingshots are fun! Or an old craggily-toothed British man offering you more hard candy, all these things are life’s way of telling you to ‘go the other way’.

Last night I pulled into my hairstylist’s (do men have hairstylists?) driveway for my hair cuttin’ appointment. My stylist has a tall 6-foot fence surrounding her yard that is locked so you have to ring the outer doorbell and wait. A light mist was falling in the twilight as I heard her front door open and the clip-clop of stiletto heels against the pavement leading to the gate.

“Who is it?”

“A murderer.”


“I want a haircut.”

“Come in!”

She opened the door and for a few moments I could not compute who I was looking at. Before me stood a female with the facial features of my stylist but instead of long, flowing just-stepped-out-of-a-salon hair was a woman with a shaved head! Had this been my first visit I probably would’ve turned and ran, but seeing that she still had fully functioning fingers I knew I was in good hands.

I gave her a smile and a shout and did the obligatory touching of the shaved head that all humans must do. While my fingers ran over her stubbly cranium it reminded me of my old roommate Yoshi and that reminded me that I still owe him $400 bucks. Then I remembered how he slept with my cat (as friends) and my cat had fleas and Yoshi got bit and his legs got all scabby but he couldn’t stop itching so they got more scabby and it was gross and he turned the heat on in his bedroom during the winter even though we agreed that we weren’t going to use the heat because it cost to much and I wasn’t Mr. Money Bags, but he did it anyway and so he was wearing shorts in his bedroom while I could see my breath in my bedroom and then he would go downstairs when I was at work and eat all my bananas and spaghetti and when I came home from work he would meet me at the door and ask me if he could have some bananas and spaghetti and I would say OK even though I wasn’t heat crankin’, short wearin’ Mr. Money Bags and then I would come downstairs to find that he ate ALL of my bananas and spaghetti and I remembered how much I hated that.

Fortunately my hairstylist lady still had all her cuttin’ skills and I emerged from her house lookin’ like a pimp going to go slap some ho’s. Which reminds me, I saw the last 2 minutes of the Macy’s Day parade from here in Portland over the weekend and of course the fat guy with the beard is the last float. The reporter jumped up next to him on his sleigh and asked him, “How many hos does it take to end the parade?” I actually LOL’d and I thought Santa would say 2, one on each side but that old fatty is a greedy son of a bitch! He said 5! Look out Mrs. Claus you’ve got yourself a handful.

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So you think I’m a nerd?

At least Phil does.

Dave, Kayle and I just returned from the Rose Garden after seeing the ‘SoYou Think You Can Dance’ tour. Honestly it was brilliant. Loads of fun and just as impressive as the tv show. I love to watch good dancing. This show brings out all the teeny boppers and tweens but I think it is still a better fit for someone my age than ‘Dancing w/the Stars’. They had all of the top ten finalists plus a few extras. And they performed most every awesome routine that I would have liked to see. It was a great two and a half hours. If you like good dancing you should tune in when the next season starts.

Tonight they performed my favorite routine from the season, a spectacular performance between Hok and Jaimie of a hummingbird and a flower. The video is a little dark but you’ll get most of it.

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A quick pick me up

I have to laugh at my sister for being awesome and also a funny nerd. Today I was sitting in the office doing the tedious 9-5 work I blogged about yesterday. My cell phone rang and my sis was on the other end.


“Are you working in the office?”


“You having fun?”


“Oh, well I’ve got a little something for you, a little pick me up!”


“Is Michelle there working too?”


“You think she could use a little pick me up as well?”


“I’ll bring her some too.”


“So, I’ll be down there in ten minutes, watch for me so i don’t have to take the kids out of the car.”


It was 10am and I wasn’t feeling too tired and bored from the work yet, but thought it would be a good excuse to get up, and walk around. I saw my sister pull into the lot and made my way outside. We exchanged pleasantries and chatted for a bit. Finally with a huge grin she said, “Here you go!” and handed me two paper cups full of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Since it was morning I was expecting an Egg MegMuffin or something of that nature, but instead it was indeed a pick me up!

I smuggled the ice cream back to the office, surprised Michelle with her treat and went back to my desk. After I sat down and began working Jesse the office manager interrupted our clacking of computer keys. “Everyone if you run into a client that has no phone number go ahead…..what? Is that ice cream?”


“How did you get that?”

“Don’t ask, it’s a pick me up.”


Yummy indeed.

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Workin’ 9-5

My Thanksgiving weekend was fabulous. I hope yours was as well. There are still plenty of delicious leftovers and goodies to gorge on. I’m looking forward to get back in the swing of things of working out to make sure I don’t turn into a fatty. This week should be interesting since I’ll actually be working in the office from 9-5. They had some extra work that needed to be done and asked if any of the agents were interested in earning some extra dough. Michelle and I volunteered to do it as more of a test to see what it would be like to work a full time office job and still try to real estate on the side. Things have been slower lately but we couldn’t have picked a better time to test it as we now have 3, hopefully 4 deals pending and one closing this week. Should be interesting!

Now if I could just get rid of this f’ing headache!

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They don’t make ‘em like they used to.

Check this out!

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No Country for old Phil

Today is Phil’s birthday and he’s here now. So happy 38th birthday to phil! We were going to see ‘No Country for Old Men’ which is supposed to be a great movie, but Phil’s hip was acting up so I gave him some mint oreos instead. Happy birthday buddy I hope it’s the best. Here’s Phil digging into his present.

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Happy Thanksgiving!

Hello to all the readers out there and Happy Thanksgiving! woot. My favorite holiday of all time, although we’re not celebrating until tomorrow one can feel the preparation and excitement in the air. I wish all of you good times with people you love. Don’t stick your baster where it doesn’t belong…..a lesson well learned last year.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Shopping for the kids

I’ve been an uncle for 4 years today. It’s a pretty good gig. You can swoop in whenever you want, you’re greeted with big smiles and hugs and when the little ones get fussy and restless you can bolt out the door faster than a fat man chasing an ice cream truck. I like it.
Since my niece is 4 today I realized I should probably get something for her birthday. I actually have a couple of days until I see her again and celebrate, but I wanted to go before black Friday and beat the crazed masses of people. Today I found myself wishing my niece was a nephew b/c it would’ve been way easier to know what to get her/him but nevertheless I realized I was having a hoot of a time picking out different presents. I think that’s because I’ve never really grown up. I still like toys. I admit it, I’m a 30 year old big kid. I can never resist poking, pulling and prodding everything that makes a movement or sound upon touch. I get endless delight out of trying to synchronize talking Elmos OR pushing their buttons a half second from each other to create an annoying echo. I think I just like being annoying. I don’t even need an audience to do this, I just do it for my own kicks. Therefore, going into the toy section for a legitimate reason gives me great contentment. I wish grownups would give each other toys, it’d be more fun to shop for each other.

I have no idea if my niece will like any of the stuff that I got her, she probably will…she’s only 4, either way it doesn’t really matter b/c I had all the fun shopping.

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