Archive for August, 2008

Old People Are Funny

When I first saw the headline to this story I thought it was some terrible accident but once I read the first line “An elderly woman….” I immediately understood hilarity would ensue. I love how she ‘laid down on the unmanned baggage belt” thinking she was following check-in instructions.

“That’s what we do now ma’am. We cart you off into the belly of the plane like cattle to the slaughterhouse. Enjoy your flight!”

Read about it here.

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When it’s your time…..

You’ll probably think I’m sick for thinking this is ‘funny’, but I mean it in the ‘life sure is funny’ sense. The guy that co-wrote ‘100 things to do before you die’, died at 47 by slipping and bonking his head in his own home. Crazy. Many of the things in his book seem like you could easily die doing, but instead he dies at home. I guess when it is your time, there is nothing you can do to escape it. God’s got a funny sense of humor sometimes. Maybe he gets bored up there with the same old causes of death and likes to mix it up? That would explain weird things like the guy last year in Oregon that was driving his pickup 60mph when a tree limb fell off a tree at the exact moment he went under, crashing through the windshield, killing him. That’s nuts! If the guy would’ve waited for one second longer to roll out of bed, or been driving 62mph, the limb would’ve just missed him!

I guess you can’t fight it when it’s your day to die. It’s sad that the co-author only got through half of his own list.

Read the story here

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My feelings exactly..

This is how I feel every time Phil calls.

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Top Five Bands… would eliminate

I saw this question on Fark the other day so I was curious what my readers would say. What are the top 5 bands you would completely wipe off the face of the Earth, as if they never had existed? Try to avoid whole genres as I’m sure some people would completely wipe out all rap and others would completely wipe out all country…etc. What are five bands that you can’t stand and why?

Oh…I just realized I should put up my top 5. I’m going to have to think about it, but I know U2 is one of them. Four more to go.

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All you have to do is ask

Talking with a friend after kickboxing….

Friend: So what are you guy’s doing tonight for ‘guy’s night out’?

Me: I dunno. Our one friend canceled on us so it’s just me and Phil. He had time to kill on this side of town so I told him to go to Best Buy while I finished up Kickboxing.

F: Oh tell him to get me a HDMI cable!

M: Why, do you have a new kick ass setup?

F: Yeah it’s nice.

M: Cool! When am I coming over for movies, popcorn and steak?

F: I don’t know you well enough yet, you might be a serial killer.

M: True, but you’ve never bothered to ask me.

F: Are you a serial killer?

M: Yup.

F: Oh…

M: See? Now you know. Can I come over? I promise not to kill you, I just want to watch movies on your sweet setup.

F: Sure.

Just kidding everyone! I’m not really a serial killer…or am I? Guess only time will tell. hahah. Later it occurred to me that maybe she meant CEREAL killer and I better understood her hesitation about letting me come over. She didn’t want me to eat all her cereal, understandable. Believe me if she had Honey Nut Cheerios or Honey Bunches of Oats there wouldn’t have been a single morsel left. I would’ve ripped open those boxes faster than a junkyard dog on a meat biscuit.

mmmm…a Meat Biscuit sounds good.

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My Diagnosis

Phil thinks he has ADHD.

I think he’s just lazy and doesn’t like working.

Done. Where do I pick up my check?

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Oh Crap!

Now I have to go to the freakin’ dentist. After 7 years of avoidance it seems fate has taken a cruel turn and is forcing my hand to dial the numbers on the phone in the correct order that will cause my dentist’s phone to ring. My real teeth seem fine, but tonight for no particular reason my fake molar decided to fall out. At first I thought it was a piece of food from a previous meal that I often store in the upper reaches of my cheek area, but when I bit down it was hard and not very tasty so I spit it out. That’s when I saw this.

I didn’t remember eating that, so I began poking around with my tongue and realized that I had an awesome gaping hole in my mouth! Like a 7-year old with a scab on his knee, I couldn’t leave the dang thing alone. I have had a fake tooth ever since my adult teeth came in because once my baby molar fell out they realized I didn’t have an adult molar to back it up, so they put a bridge in my mouth. Now I guess I’ll have to have them do it again….or will I? After a few minutes of poking my tongue through it I got curious as to what else I could put in my molar’s place. While the picture list below is not complete, it does show you how awesome it is to have a big nasty molar sized gap between your teeth. Super happy fun times!

Also, I don’t know why I’m not wearing a shirt. It just happens.

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Spaghetti Cat

I swear I’m not turning my blog into a video blog, but this is way too good to pass up. Joel Mchale of the soup does a good job of setting up the clip so, please to enjoy:

I don’t know about you but this just cracks me up. Puts a smile on my face every time. :)

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I smiled

Since everyone says I don’t smile when I play the guitar I wanted to share this video. I’m working on Brian Setzer’s ridiculously hard ‘8-track’ and about 1:05 I screwed up. I just couldn’t get my fingers to find the correct chord and found it funny for some reason which generated a smile. One of these days I’ll figure out this whole song with solo and all, it is incredibly impressive and what’s even more amazing is that Setzer sings the whole time he’s playing this crazy stuff!

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A fellow chucker eh?

It’s funny the things that will randomly pop into your head while you’re just waking up. The other morning I woke up with the line from the title of my blog in my head. I kept quoting it and memories of being 13 years old came flooding back. All day I felt the need to see the clip of the movie it was from. Fortunately Youtube delivered like always and now I share it with you. Kudos to any of you that know which movie it’s from without looking down at the picture/video below.


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