Archive for August, 2008

Cocaine

Last night I dreamt that I was part of an illegal cocaine packaging operation (as opposed to the legal kind). It was strange and I have no idea what in the world would prompt such a dream since I haven’t done cocaine in….never! I was in Mexico and the whole time I felt super guilty but I kept trying to justify it in my head. “Think of how fast you can pay off your bills, think of how the money can be used to send the nieces to college..etc”. In the dream I believed that my dad would understand but I was more worried about what my sister would think of me! This is funny b/c I know she already disapproves of my debaucherous ways! Anyway my lack of knowledge of how to package illegal drugs played out in the dream since I really had no idea what I was doing. At one point I spilled a bunch of the white powder into the wet sink and quickly tried to scoop it up and schlop it into a package…it was a mess and I was scared trying to hide my mistakes.

At least it’s good to know that I have some sort of conscience buried deep in my brain and dreams, after some dreams…..I’m not sure. :)

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He’s going to be disappointed

When I’m at work and I don’t have fingernail clippers I like to bite the corner of my fingernail and rip the rest of the nail off. I then usually aim for the garbage can and flick my fingernail fragments in the trash. Earlier, I must’ve been on the phone and flicking them in the air because after my bite and rip session, I noticed a small piece over on the edge of my desk. I quickly forgot about it during the hustle and bustle of the day and went about my business.
Hours later I was flipping through a report on my desk when I spotted a tiny little ant wander across my page. I smiled and waved at him and stopped reading to observe his activities. He was struggling with what looked like a piece of rice on his back. He’d pick it up, drag and pull it and drop it to take a few breaths. He finally was able to properly hoist the rice-like object on his back and make is way towards the end of my page. There were a few tense moments near the edge of the paper and I held my breath as I watched him navigate the quarter inch drop off from paper to desk (as I said he
was tiny). The struggle came in that he did not want to let the rice go but he also didn’t want to fall. He finally made his way to the desk and high tailed it (tiny, but fast!) off towards the colony presumed.

It wasn’t until I took one last good look at him that I realized, that wasn’t rice on his back but the fragments of my fingernail! I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of him panting and wheezing as he pulled that thing into the colony.

Little Ant:(panting) “Whew boys! You won’t believe what I got today….look at this! A whole grain of rice!”

Ant Friend: (takes bite) “Uuuh! That’s not rice! That’s human nail! What are we going to do with a human nail? I send you all the way out for dinner and you come back with nail….well this is just great.”

Little Ant: “:(”

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Bowser’s Minions

This is pretty funny, especially if you wasted oodles of hours of your teenage life on Super Mario Brothers.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

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