Archive for September, 2008

Calling all women!

… my bedroom! Haha. Ok not really. But this is a shout out to any women in Internetland that live somewhere near the Portland/Metro area. Whether you like kicking ass and taking names or living in a bubble where rated ‘R’ movies don’t exist, I have something for each of you. October 4th the Krav Maga school I attend is having an Open House and offering several different classes to help raise money for the ‘Marni Fund’. Marni Levine was the highest ranked female Krav Maga master until she died of Breast Cancer at only 37. One of the classes that they are offering that day is a women’s only Rape Prevention Class. This isn’t your typical women’s self defense where they tell you to stomp on the bad guy’s foot and yell out ‘NO!’. This is bodies flying, sweat dripping, teeth gnashing self defense. Not your bag? You’d rather walk through gardens sniffing flowers and watching the bees pollenate? Who wouldn’t? The problem is that there could be a bad guy hiding behind the flowers ready to jump out and pollenate YOU. Not fun, and not a happy thought I like to dwell on, but I’m just being real considering the world we live in. All the animals in the animal kingdom have some sort of natural defense/instinct when it comes to defending themselves, human animals should too. Why not learn some simple techniques and get a good workout at the same time? The beauty about this class is the realism in it. Several Clackamas County police officers volunteer to wear fully padded body gear and attack the participants. This allows you to experience a taste of what a real struggle is like and you also get to wail on police officers without going to jail! Awesome on both ends.

In addition to the Rape Prevention class they will be having a silent auction with items from Ipods and Nintendo Wii’s, to gift certificates for spas and restaurants. It’s going to be a fun time, if you don’t want to attend any of the classes at least come out and see what it’s all about. If you don’t want to come at all you can stomp on my foot and yell ‘NO!’, I’ll get the hint.

For more information follow this link.

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Master of his instrument

It’s no secret that I am very fond of music, all types of music. What I really admire is people that have truly ‘mastered’ their instrument. I thought about it and realized I feel this way just about all instruments, even ones I don’t really care for. Just about the only one I don’t really care to hear played is the harp. I just can’t get excited about the harp. It’s too flowy and I think I speak for all people when I say ‘fairly boring’. You’ll never hear a good rock song played on a harp. I’m not being mean, I’m just stating facts. You can breathe easy that the video below is not about a harp.

Rather it is a duet of Paganini’s ‘Carnival of Venice’ performed with a classical guitar and the lead instrument being a Russian made Domra. If you don’t know what a Domra is watch the video and you’ll see it’s a small 4-stringed instrument similar in size to a mandolin.

What I love about this video is the setting and the Domra player. I get the feeling it’s in someone’s dorm room and they decided on an impromptu jam session. Relaxed and informal, but the music is brilliant. The Domra player is amazing and quirky with incredible skill and dynamics to his playing. I love it, it appears as if he’s not even trying which in my mind makes him all the more a master.


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The power of the rubber ducky

I came home late Tuesday night after 3 hours of working out and krav magaing. I was tired, hungry and a little mopey. I’m not usually mopey, but all my muscles hurt so I think it made me mopey. Dave’s hot tub was out of commission (too much romping) and no pretty girls were around to rub me so I decided on a nice hot bath even though I didn’t have any bubbles. I laid there in my own stew thinking about life, my sore muscles and tried to figure out why I felt so darn mopey. It was then I turned my head and noticed a small rubber ducky perched on the side of the tub happily smiling away at me. He looked like he needed to go for a swim so I pushed him in. He floated back and forth and around my bits for a bit and bobbed up and down with the waves I created. You know the funny thing? After awhile I actually felt less mopey. Maybe it was the warm water, but I’d like to think that Mr. Rubber Ducky had something to do with it.

Then, after I was feeling better I tried to drown him by filling his plastic body up with water but he kept rising to the surface, smiling and squeaking like a trooper. That’s a strong duck. Since his body was full of water I took him out and squirted all the water out, but it made him look like he had the runs. This gave me even more joy, after 4 more squirts, and retarded laughing to myself, I was good as

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Speaking of text messages

This is probably one of the best text messages I’ve received in awhile. You know your friend is having a good day when your phone beeps and you read:

“There is a naked girl outside!”

I was going about my day flipping through Excel spreadsheets with my mind on other things when that came across my phone. I texted back: “No way!”. My fellow friend wrote back with a simple, but definite: “Yes.”. Intrigued, I switched over to email and asked him to explain. Apparently Phil wasn’t lying. There was indeed a girl (woman) near the parking lot of his office, naked, drinking a pop. Like kids pressed against the window of a candy store, all of Phil’s coworkers were breathing heavy against the glass of their 2nd story building. This is exactly the kind of morale booster a room full of web programmers need on a hot summer day. Phil said the cops finally came, I don’t know if she was arrested or anything, but it’s actually not illegal to be naked in public in Oregon as long as you’re not ‘aroused’. Interesting. As for me I went back to my spreadsheets, but I don’t know if Phil or his coworkers got anymore work done.

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The 29th rule of text messaging….

When you’re a kidnapper don’t lay your gun down to text your buddies.

Read more here

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It’s kinda gross when you’re eating yogurt, topless in your room, and during the last bite you spill some on your bare chest and you scoop up the misfired dollop off your chest and put it into your mouth only to find a rogue chest hair came along for the ride and is in your mouth.

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I needed this like a hole in my head…..

Oh wait, I already have the hole.

If you’re a frequent reader of my blog, you’ll recall a few weeks ago that my fake molar fell out of my face. If this is your first time reading my blog, basically a few weeks ago my fake molar fell out of my face. Everyone gasped and guffawed when I mentioned that I had not been to the dentist in 7 years, and was finally being forced to go since I was missing a tooth. You’ll all be proud to know that the very next day I called the dentist to schedule an appointment, but he was out of town for two weeks and I would have to wait until after labor day. Fast forward to this week and on Wednesday I was able to get in to see Mr. Dentist.

Everyone was happy to see me and they couldn’t believe how much I’ve grown in the last 7 years, I felt like a celebrity. Toothman took a look at my hole and gave me my two options for getting it fixed. Either an implant or a bridge. I wasn’t too thrilled with my options, but more on that later. After 2 minutes of poking around he said “Is there anything else you’d like me to look at?” A ton of smart aleck remarks flooded my head, I thought about asking him about my clicky elbow or my ingrown toenail or even asking him why men have nipples?! Instead I said, “Oh, I don’t know…do you think I need a cleaning or anything? It’s been 7 years…” ‘Oh MY!” Was his response. “I thought you had been to a dentist in the past 7 years, even if it wasn’t us. I think a full examination is in order.”

With that he got up and had nurse pokey come in with her sharp metal instruments. She poked and prodded, scraped and pulled, but my gums and teeth were as solid as a grill on a ‘58 Buick Special. She cleaned my teeth and went out to the hallway where I overheard the doc gasp, “Are you already done?!” “Yes master doctor, his teeth are like a dream. White like an Elephant’s tusk and strong like a Camel’s back, I am honored that you let me work on him today.” The dentist came back in and told me the good news, no cavities! He was just as surprised as I was. Later, we all had a good laugh over a chocolate milkshake (one shake, two straws) and salt-water taffy.

Now for the annoying/WTF news. The fake tooth that fell out was part of a Maryland, or Marilyn bridge. I couldn’t understand what he called it but I think it’s something like that. Basically it was a fake tooth held in place by metal bracket things that clasp onto the surrounding teeth. It’s bonded down so it’s semi-permanent. It was a good, easy, CHEAP fix that lasted for 13 years. Now the doc tells me that they don’t do those anymore. All you can get is implants (drill a whole in your jaw bone and stick a screw down there) or a proper bridge. The thing is, both of those options are around $3,000! I do have dental insurance but more than that I don’t know that I really want them to drill into my jawbone, or shave down my teeth for the bridge. That’d be like cutting the tip of your middle finger off and them saying, we’re going to need to drill a screw into your finger just to reattach the tip. Seems unnecessary. Why the heck can’t they do the cheap fix that lasted for 13 years?

Does anyone know anything about this? (Laura I am really looking in your direction since you make teeth for a living). I’m thinking about calling around and seeing if maybe it’s just my dentist that doesn’t do this anymore. If anybody has any experience with this let me know. In the meantime I’m going to do my own research and keep putting my tongue in the gap.

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