Whoop Whoop!

So apparently some lady in our sample department may or may not have the Whooping Cough. Regardless of the lack of info this has created a panic ripple effect in our office. Everyone is thinking about getting a booster, and it seems like every other hour is spent talking about it and looking up the symptoms online. So you know what’s funny? All of a sudden all these people are starting to feel a little sick. Oh, so-and-so has a sore throat it must be the Whooping Cough. Oh and so-and-so has been coughing for a few weeks, she might have it too…etc…etc. Honestly people calm your paranoia. Now I’ll admit if it were really a threat everyone should be a bit concerned but here’s the kicker. The lady that was ‘diagnosed’ wasn’t even diagnosed. This to me is unbelievable. She went to the doctor, he listened to her lungs, and then she told him how long she’s been coughing, he didn’t hear her cough or do any swabs or actually test for it! He just gave her some antibiotics and sent her on her way. Way to go Kaiser. Line ‘em up and pump ‘em full of drugs on their way out, just like a slaughterhouse. This is the reason I’m not too concerned, we have no facts.

All this pandemonium reminded me of something that happened years ago at a church summer camp. It was in the dead heat of summer and out group was somewhere in central Oregon, for those of you who don’t know, think “desert”. In a word it was hot. We all went rock climbing and came back tired and thirsty. We were told over and over again not to drink the water from the river, b/c it was really nasty stuff. There was a rest stop right by the river and so on the way out from rock climbing everyone guzzled and filled their water bottles to the top. We all piled onto the sweltering bus ready to head back to the shade of the campsite. Everyone kept drinking down their long cool bottles of water when suddenly a fellow camper, one of the know-it-all types boarded the bus. As she got on she noticed everyone drinking fresh water.

“Where did everyone get the water” she inquired.

Someone pointed towards the restrooms that were stationed right by the river.

“You can’t drink that water, it’s CONTAMINATED!!!!!”

Immediately a fearful hush fell over everyone, followed by a collective grown that rippled throughout the sweaty windows of the steamy bus. Almost instantly people began to complain of stomach aches, and headaches and this and that. It seemed damn near everyone was falling sick from the ‘contaminated’ water. I’ll never forget what my friend Dave J. shouted from the back of the bus as everyone else was falling ill, “Hey, at least it was something cold to drink!” That brought a smile to my face, true indeed. As you can probably guess there was nothing wrong with the water, but it’s funny how many people felt ill after one stupid, misinformed girl opened her mouth. Reminds me of what John Malcom Forbes said, “The dumbest people I know are those who know it all.”

So I don’t know if I’ll get the whooping cough or if I’ve even been exposed. I suppose if I start singing “Whoop, there it is” over and over again it means I’m contagious, so stay away. And if I start to sound like one of the three stooges pray for me, because I’m already dead.



  1. Phil said,

    April 19, 2006 @ 5:46 pm

    Some lady in LA got the bubonic plague the other day. Now that’s something to worry about!

  2. Billy said,

    April 20, 2006 @ 9:21 am

    I see the parasites from that infected water are still in control of your mind.

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