Toothless

Just about the only recurring dream that I ever have is one about my teeth. I’d like to think in real life that I have pretty good teeth, they’re mostly straight, mostly clean and a lil’ yellow from lack of dentist checkups. But sometimes when I enter dream land my teeth reach a whole new level. They’re rotten, black, falling out. In these dreams I’m scared to smile and I don’t even want to tell anyone especially my parents b/c I’m scared they will be mad at me. The last dream I had like this I was eating, when something started to hurt in my upper left molars. I took my hand to feel the tooth and instead of just feeling it, I ended up (with my fingers) splitting it in two and ripping half of it out of my mouth. In the dream I was like, “oh no! Why did I just do that?!” With no logical response I had Karin look at my tooth and instead of her gently looking or poking around my mouth, she takes her fingers, hooks them on my bottom row of teeth and YANKS down hard so my mouth has an unhinging/ripping open feeling. It was horrid. I woke up wondering why the heck I would ever dream such a thing. I mentioned something to my co-workers about having dreams where my teeth were rotted out, and Hector said that he’s had those kind of dreams and so has his mother. He said that he was told it was a fear of the future or something. I felt comforted that others have had psycho tooth dreams like myself.

Due to the dreams about my teeth, I was feeling more and more self-concious about them and since my old toothbrush was about as effective as a wet sponge rubbing against my teeth I decided it was time for a new one. I got some new, funky oral-b thing that was on sale, but I gotta say, brushing with this monster is nice. The first night I cracked it open I was feeling especially ambitious so I thought that I’d floss as well.

Flossing is my biggest downfall in my quest for excellent dental hygiene, I just don’t do it. It’s a pain in the ass (if you’re into that sorta thing) and I always forget. I used to lie to the dentist’s assistants after they’d be done flossing my teeth, “no no, I floss daily!” is what I’d tell them as blood dribbled out of my mouth from my freshly flossed gums. But this night I was going to make a change, I thought the best way to avoid fulfilling my toothless dreams was to brush and floss. The top row of teeth went great without a hitch. The bottom row was a little tricky as I went past my fake tooth, but when I reached the middle teeth of the bottom row is where I ran into trouble. I seesawed the the floss back and forth when it got stuck! The teeth are so close together that they wouldn’t let go of it. I am unsure if it was waxed or un-waxed floss, but it was definately not mint or cinnamon flavored. As I started to pull the blood soaked floss away from my face I found out that it was ghetto floss, probably made by the same company that made the ghetto kleenex box we had in the bathroom last week……you know the kind made by a ghetto machine with a blade so dull it doesn’t fully cut each tissue, leaving the tissue you pull out still slightly attached to the one still in the box so when you have a runny nose and frantically pull the first sheet you get the next 30 sheets with it. Sweet. I say it was ghetto floss b/c as I started to pull it out it started to shred into little strands! I got the big line of floss out but I was left with what felt like hair stuck between my teeth. No matter what I did I could not get the rest of it out of my teeth. Defeated I ended up going to bed and for the next 4 or 5 days I was constantly playing with the hair-like floss in between my teeth. Yesterday was the first day that I realized the hair was gone….It sucked, so much for being ambitious with my dental hygiene.

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