Ok, here’s what we’re gonna do

Take a look at the pic:

What you’re seeing here is not my latest chain-letter-get-rich-quick-scheme (but if you’re interested in sending me $5 in return for 5 names then write me) no, it is my latest stick-it-to-the-man-scheme. Just like everyone else, I seem to get an endless supply of credit card offers in the mail. I especially hate the ones where they send blank checks in my name! I’m fed up with credit card companies trying to entice me to spend more money. I used to shred all the offers with great disdain and annoyance but one day I decided to start saving the return envelopes b/c I realized one thing. The CC companies have to pay for the postage on the envelope. Sense would dictate that the heavier the envelopes are the more postage they are required to pay (unless their hands are in the USPS pockets and they have a special flat rate, I dunno). So it has become my goal to stuff the envelopes as full and as heavy as I can get them and send them back to the evil CCCs. Now, I know you’re thinking, “big whoop, you made the billion dollar CCC pay an extra $.27″. Ah, but don’t you see the potential? With word of mouth and the far reaching effects of The Internets we can all band together sending weightily laden envelopes back from whence they came! By the power of grayskull we can unite as a people devoted to a common purpose and take back our mailboxes! Who’s with me?

Even if you’re not in tune with my superior plan, I thought of something else. Since postage is paid, what if you made a label with your desired destination printed on it, and slapped that label on top of the CCC’s address? Would it still get to nanna’s house in the boondocks or does the Postal Service have special people trained to interrupt this kind of fraud? If not, I may stop stuffing my envelopes, and instead I might send them all to my grandma and save her money on stamps! What’s that? Another great idea you say?! I know, but it’s only a good idea if you use it! So put your minds together, and let me know if this’ll work. I need feedback people.


  1. Phil said,

    August 20, 2006 @ 6:02 pm

    How could this get rich scheme possible fail!

  2. EsoPhil said,

    August 20, 2006 @ 10:12 pm

    I also like the “get rich” attribute of the plan.

  3. elizabeth said,

    August 21, 2006 @ 1:01 am


  4. normaljean said,

    August 21, 2006 @ 1:26 am

    Although i think this plan is clever and it DOES serve those solicitors right ! I’m worried it might affect the actual postal sorting machines. Or get rejected long before they get to their intended destination. Also.. and not that i really know anything, but.. They could always retaliate and cover their costs by raising interest rates, which would cost us in the end.

    You should definitely try it for grandma mailing though. I know she’d appreciate it. ;)

  5. Billy said,

    August 21, 2006 @ 8:17 am

    I went to your family’s house (but it wasn’t any house any of you have lived in). Your mom was coring and skinning apples for applesauce at the top of the stairs. This was mighty inconvenient and I could barely find a way around the apple peels and her. Your dad was there but I didn’t see him. Then I went outside and got in your hot air balloon. I moved two windows to the side (you were on the top floor of an apartment). I decided to go back since the third window was someone else’s apartment and it wouldn’t be nice to peek. So I went back in the house and played video games. Then I woke up.

  6. becca said,

    August 21, 2006 @ 6:44 pm

    that’s freakin’ awesome. my dad used to do the same kind of thing - he would send all the junk that corporation had sent him in their return address envelopes. he figured if they wanted to waste his precious letter-opening time, he would waste theirs.

    good luck!

  7. EsoPhil said,

    August 21, 2006 @ 7:30 pm

    This won’t be anonymous, right? If they are the typical credit card pre-approved apps, then they have all your information printed all over them. So they will know exactly who is sending them back. Meaning, who knows, maybe they’ll retaliate by sending even more. Man I wish there was a “no mail list” like the “no call list” - and then we could get all these crepes (yes, like the French food) in “real” trouble!

  8. Micah said,

    August 21, 2006 @ 8:15 pm

    None of the envelopes nor any of the papers on the inside have my info on them. So hopefully anonymous. I figure even if they know its me, what are they going to do? Tell me to stop returning the return envelopes?! hehe :)

  9. Jake said,

    August 22, 2006 @ 1:49 pm

    You’re in trouble, Micah. I shouldn’t even be talking to you, but I’m telling you as a friend. Here’s how it’s going to happen: you may be walking. Maybe on a fine, summer day just like today. When a mail truck will slow beside you, and a door will open, and a mailman you know, maybe even trust, will offer to give you a lift. And no one will ever see you again!

  10. Reese said,

    August 24, 2006 @ 11:21 am

    Hmmm. I may just join you in your fight, my friend.

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