Chuck Norris can roundhouse your car into next week

I’ve been helping Karin look for a car and we came across the ad below. I thought it’d be a good follow up to the Chuck Norris jokes I posted earlier.

You’d probably never associate Chuck Norris with a 1990 Volvo 740 GL, but consider these facts as you are looking for a new car:

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a cow to get the leather for the seats in this Volvo.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a ninja through the windshield late last year, and replaced it shortly thereafter.

Chuck Norris can see through anything, including your body and your soul. Still, Chuck Norris replaced the windshield wipers and blades. Safety first.

Chuck Norris and Les Schwab made a blood pact over this car. Chuck Norris would drive the car over enemy commandoes. Les Schwab would provide free tire replacements if the commandoes popped the tires with their fingernails. Plus, Les Schwab got the rest of the cow used for the seats. Now it’s free beef month.

Chuck Norris can fit bodies in the trunk of this Volvo. They would be the bodies of anyone who called Chuck Norris “Charles.”

A roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris travels at the speed of light, which is 186,000 miles per second. This Volvo has only travelled 148,000 miles, which is the length of only 79% of one Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

There are two guarantees when it comes to Chuck Norris and this Volvo. The Volvo will run and Chuck Norris will run a drug lord over with it.

Chuck Norris will give you a roundhouse kick into next week if you try to scam him out of this 1990 740 GL. Do not test Chuck Norris on this one.

1 Comment »

  1. Phil said,

    February 14, 2006 @ 10:54 pm

    Young Chuck Norris

    My HTML Skills will PWN YOU!

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