White Elephant

Today was our office christmas party. It was supposed to be an hour of seriousness and then a couple hours of fun. Most of it ended up being fun. It took place at the mexican restaurant Acapulco. It’s a decent place but I wasn’t really hungry for salsa and chips at 10:30 in the morning. Its times like this that I wish there was a way to save food in la la land and retrieve it in my hungry hours, like now. Wouldn’t that be the best? Then we would never have to turn down food b/c ‘we’re stuffed’ we could just take a plate and place it ’somewhere out there’, and when we’re famished we could demand a delicious plate of chimichangas, pico de gallo, margaritas and deep fried ice cream. I think I’ll invent this. Even without my invented dreamy food dimension, I still ate my fill because…….free food!

The meeting was good, and I got to see some of the other realtors that I haven’t met yet. We all got gift cards to Maci’s and there was a drawing for a huge basket of stuff that I almost won. The reason I know I *almost* won was b/c they meanily drew three cards and the first two names were considered 3rd and 2nd place. They’d call your name and say, “ohhh!! You almost won!”. I was 2nd place.

The real fun of the day was the white elephant exchange. I’ve never actually done a white elephant so I had to look it up on the Internets to make sure I was doing the right thing. Normally I wouldn’t be so cautious but years ago I was involved in how you say……’sectret santa’? Yes. That. That was my first secret santa and I thought secret santa meant you had to buy crap for the other person. That’s why they give you the name of the person to buy for, so you know what kind of crap to buy….right? Wrong, oh so wrong. I remember my ears started ringing when I saw each person open a beautiful, thoughtful gift from their secret santa. The ‘oh $*%&’ feeling was washing over me and as my recipient started to open her package I about had a fit from the inside out. In the end, she laughed heartily about it and I even got a kiss out of it! A+ for kisses!

You can imagine I was a little nervous about today, especially since my gift wasn’t the run of the mill, crap gift. I tried to put a little creativity into my crap gift and when I told Phil what I was doing he didn’t say, “that’s funny” or “that’s stupid” no, all he did was silently shake his head and say, “you’re weird, I hope you don’t get fired”. People started opening gifts and once again some of them were actual good gifts! CRAAAAP! Things like insulated coffee mugs, nuts, mink handcuffs, starbucks cards….y’know stuff people would actually want. Of course I opened this (see below, pirate not included) which is total crap to me and no one would trade with me so I’m stuck with it:

I think this ‘older’ lady was the one that gave it and so I hope it wasn’t a semi-serious gift on her part, yikes.

Nearly all the gifts were taken, but mine still sat on the table. Finally an older guy picked it up and tore into. I was a bit nervous , but he was a good sport about it and showed it to everyone and the place roared with laughter. Did you hear that Phil? Roared.

I took a box of chocolates and ate most of them, but had head-shaking Phil take pictures of me enjoying them. Then I made a mini slide show/flip book thing and attached it to the top of the box with a note at the end of the slideshow that read, “I hope you enjoy these chocolates as much as I did.”
Since I can’t give all of you my white elephant, I give you my slideshow.

In the meantime, does anyone have a good home for a ceramic birdhouse thingy? I might even think about throwing in the pirate if you take this sparkley, pink thing off my hands!


  1. PHIL!!! said,

    December 19, 2006 @ 8:33 pm

    Hey, lets give credit where’s its due. I ate some of those too.

  2. normaljean said,

    December 19, 2006 @ 8:51 pm

    Hahaha! That’s a pretty funny and slighty tacky white elephant gift that YOU gave. :P The ceramic thingy you got… mostly tacky, but if she’s older then it was probably meant seriously. You could always add the pirate to the scene and paint the people inside as if they’ve been the horrible victims of a bloody, brutal plundering?! Just an idea..


    You could find a wandering granny and give it to her.

    OH! I know!! You could take it to an old folks home (wrapped again) and find out if there are any old ladies there who dont have any family and then you could leave it there for one of them. :) THAT would be sweet, and good karma too.

  3. nancypearlwannabe said,

    December 20, 2006 @ 5:02 am

    A white elephant isn’t Secret Santa! A white elephant is like a Yankee Swap, right? Where you get a number and everyone picks a gift, and the person with the better number can take your gift from you? Secret Santa is where you get someone’s name and then you leave them little gifts around and then they have to guess who their Secret Santa is…

    Man, I sure know a lot about Christmas for someone who claims to hate it.

  4. Stout said,

    December 20, 2006 @ 9:21 am

    your bosses wife, my mom, told me her story of the white elephant gift exchange and she got quite the kick out of your gift. i think she said something like, “we’re starting to see what micah is like and he’s a lot of fun.” that’s good, real good.

  5. momma said,

    December 20, 2006 @ 2:19 pm

    I am glad you are carrying on the tradition of getting crap gifts at these STUPID (or should I say wonderful) gift exchanges. I also went to one last night - and I have held to the tradition of obtaining the crappiest gift of the night - and this was a SERIOUS exchange - not a WHITE ELEPHANT!! People out there - listen and read the instructions for criminy sakes!! Yep - I’m still ticked!!

  6. Mego said,

    December 20, 2006 @ 3:12 pm

    hilarious….you’re very clever

  7. EsoPhil said,

    December 20, 2006 @ 4:23 pm

    Ask drueck what he got at his white elephant gift exchange. It breaks all records of crappiness. You will get a kick out of it. He is supposed to be making a blog entry about it. Hold him accountable! I stopped doing the whole Secret Santa thing at my work. It seemed people were competing, trying to see who could spend the most money. Simply put, I could compete and felt guilty for the weak things I got. White Elephants are more fun because most of the time there is a low spending cap. You either bring something crappy you already have or go buy something worthless. Half the fun is seeing the absolute senseless items that result.

    Oh, and about your “gift”. Normally I would say, “Yes, total junk”. But I actually have a Christmas town! :) When I was a kid, I was always jealous of people who had mini Christmas towns and always tried to encourage my parents to get one for our decorations. I guess this feeling kept alive deep in my soul all these years because just a few years ago my wife and I started getting pieces here and there for our town (mostly me!). I don’t know if that house would fit in with my town because it is a little different style. I don’t really like the ones with people in the window so much. Merry Christmas!

  8. Aimzee said,

    December 26, 2006 @ 8:23 pm

    Hahaaaa! That’s hilarious!!!

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