Nuns with Guns

About a month ago I went to my buddy Andy’s wedding in Bellevue Wa. It was a nice wedding that went pretty smooth. Actually I’m gonna go ahead and toot my own horn here and say that catastrophe was avoided because of me, but I’ll save that horn tootin’ story for another day. The night before the wedding was the rehearsal and after the rehearsal was the rehearsal dinner. Once the dinner was done I was excited to leave so I could begin objectifying some women at Andy’s bachelor party. My wishes were put on hold because someone had planned a game for all of us to play. Unless it involves balls, controllers or alcohol I usually hate games. Bored games are named as such because they are just that…..boooooring. In the basement of the church there was no controllers or alcohol so I tried to make the best out of the situation.

The first part of the game was to dress up two people in our group as a bride and groom using only unused toilet paper and a garbage bag. Our team won because of the stylish TP buttons I had fashioned and attached to the front of our groom. Our whole group then had to run through a maze to reach the next stage which was basically five rounds of charades.

Ryan was the first to volunteer to do the charades. He got his secret word and enthusiastically came running back. Our team was in the lead so when we started the charade part of the game no one else was in the room. Our eyes widened as we watched Ryan go through the motions of the word he was trying to act out.

First he crossed himself like a person of the catholic faith would do, he then took out a pretend ruler to slap an imaginary kid’s wrist, but then to our dismay he pulled out a shotgun with sound effects. He cocked the pump action shotgun and proceeded with a distinctive “Blam blam blam!” effectively blowing away the imaginary kid’s head and any idea we had of what he was trying to act out. Before the shotgun blasting I believe we were all thinking ‘catholic, discipline, pope’ but afterwards we were speechless, we stood there with our mouths agape and a collective “WHAT?” across our foreheads. The other teams started bursting in and the pressure mounted to try and guess this mystery word. Seeing that we weren’t getting it, Ryan started over. He crossed himself, pulled out a ruler while slapping a bad kid, and once again finished with cocking his shotgun and blowing people’s heads off. None of us spoke a word so he began again.



Ryan went through the same motions 6 or 7 times before I meekly muttered “nun?”. He pointed at me and yelled “YES!” tagging me to be the next one to act out a word. Now I’m not Catholic, but I do know a few things about their beliefs, I wasn’t aware of the shotgun blasting part of their religion. Because of Ryan’s lack of charade skills Our team went from 1st to dead last but we pulled it together and rallied to win the whole she-bang! I can’t rip on Ryan too much because during the charade game he correctly guessed “pig in a blanket” when the person had hardly acted out anything.

After the game we asked Ryan what the heck he was thinking with all the shotgunning. Apparently he was trying to make a reference to a conversation we had in the car 6 hours earlier about Phil’s old t-shirt. This shirt:

which is a cool shirt, but too vague for charades.


  1. Pamela said,

    March 13, 2007 @ 7:45 pm

    Thanks for clarifying that the toilet paper was unused. ;)

  2. Pamela said,

    March 13, 2007 @ 7:46 pm

    Thanks for clarifying that the toilet paper was unused. ;) Also, nun photo: classic.

  3. Phil said,

    March 14, 2007 @ 12:22 pm

    Nuns love their guns! I accidently wore that shirt into a catholic hospital once :P I think all you did was toot your own horn that whole blog!

  4. Jake said,

    March 14, 2007 @ 2:42 pm

    “Unless it involves balls…”


  5. Anthony said,

    March 15, 2007 @ 3:41 am

    Simply Classic..
    Also, I love the pic of the nuns..
    That has just made my day..

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