Top Gunnery

A few years back when I was employed at Christenson Electric it seemed that all of my fellow co-workers were of the good ol’ boy, redneck variety. If any of them had lived farther south than Salem (Oregon) they would’ve been waving confederate flags with tattoos on their forearms saying, “the south will rise again!”. As it was there was nothing they enjoyed more than cussing, chewing (and spitting) tobaccy, screwing women and shooting guns. I never took part in the first three but I loved shooting things.

So one dreary Saturday all of the rednecks Bob, Tim, Bob, Sheldon, Dave and me and Jake loaded up our cars with guns (not women, sadly) and headed towards the backwoods of Oregon City. We had all of the calibers of ammo and guns on our three-car armory on wheels. 9mm, 22, 45, 357magnum, 38special, 12gauge, 20gauge all to be fired through, Smith and Wesson, Ruger, H & K, Sig Sauer, Winchester, Glock, Mossberg…you get the idea, if a cop would’ve stopped us and asked, “can I search the vehicle” he would’ve pooped his pants.

When we arrived at our shooting location we went to the top of a hill where there was clearing. The first thing we did was bust out the shotguns for a little clay pigeon and 76-year old lawyer shooting (ZZZIIING Cheney!). I love shooting clay pigeons. I think everyone should try it at least once in their life. There’s nothing cooler than seeing that small, bright orange disc sail through the air and then shatter into 43 pieces when you blast it with your 12 gauge. Plus who can deny the extremely cool feeling you get cocking the slide “SHUCK SHUCK” after each shot fired. After a while we went back down the hill where we set up a firing line to shoot the many handguns we brought. It was alot of fun to test out a wide range of guns and take out our aggresion on innocent beer cans and sheet metal. Tim had a .45 calibar Sig Sauer that looked and felt like any 9mm but once you saw the size of the holes this thing made, you knew it was no piddly 9mm. The day was going great, Jake and I were having a goodtime shooting up the hillside and bonding with the rednecks. Jake asked Sheldon if he could try out his 9mm. Sheldon complied and told him that the first “pull” on the trigger would be really hard since the hammer has to be pulled back, but each successive pull would be easy since the hammer behind the slide will already be cocked. Jake nodded and stepped forwad to blowa coke can to oblivion. All of the rednecks, myself included, were behind Jake loading up clips and chewing tobacco. Jake squeezed the trigger, successfully firing one round into the muddy hillside. He stood there for a moment, then turned turn his head and torso and asked, “Now what am I suppo….” BANG!! In that exact moment a shot rang out sending a crisp echo through the surrounding hillside. Simultaneously we all jumped. The shot came from the gun Jake was holding sending a round of hot lead intothe ground just inches from his foot. As he turned to ask a question about the gun he let his hand drop about 45 degrees causing his finger to rest on the trigger. What he didn’t realize was that after the first shot the gun would have a hairpin trigger, causing it to fire with the slightest pressure. Needless to say Jake didn’t feel like shooting guns much after that. Sheldon was beating himself up over it left and right since it was his gun. I’ll admit it was a little freaky then, but now I just LMAO thinking about it.

Its fresh on my brain today because last night on a whim Karin decided she wanted to go to Red Robin. I obliged and as we sat down at a table I turned to my right to help sing happy birthday to the cutest little 8 year old girl. As I looked up at the smiling father my mouth hit the floor it was Sheldon! I hadn’t seen him in 7-8 years. I himmmed and haughed as to whether or not I should say anything because we all know how annoying it is to bump into an old aquaintence, talk for 5 minutes and then have nothing to say. I bit the bullet (no pun intended!) and finally yelled out his name since he was never really a redneck at all and he was one of the nicer people at my old work place. We had a good convo and exchanged numbers. He needs some computer work done and I think it’d be fun to go shooting with someone that won’t blow their foot off. Sheldon still feels bad about the whole Jake almost-becoming-a-cripple incident. It’s funny how life works isn’t it? What are the chances that we’d both pick the same place to eat and let alone be sat right next to eachother! Just crazy. Not too get all sappy at the end of my blog but isn’t it crazy? Especially this last year I have regained contact with a bunch of people I thought I’d never talk to again. But here I am re-forging old friendships. huh.


  1. Anthony B said,

    March 19, 2006 @ 5:44 am

    Dude, that is amazing indeed…
    Thats funny that you say that you ran into an old buddy from back in the day, because that just happened to me last night, except I had not seen this girl named Tracy in 16 years, so it took me a few minutes to remember her name and where I knew here from..
    Life is totally funny that way…
    That completely rocks my sox….
    Oh, and thanx a bunch for that audio…
    I will give you a link for the church site I am working on, but now here cuz I really want it to look half way descent before the master micah looks at it..
    I am just the yound paduan learner, and you are the master so I must work very hard to please thee…
    K, I shall return in a bit son…
    ABC signing out..

    __We are the Knights who say Ni__

  2. Phil said,

    March 19, 2006 @ 1:16 pm

    When do I get to almost shoot my foot off?

  3. Jake (the one who IS Jake) said,

    March 27, 2006 @ 10:37 am

    Don’t YOU have a 9mm……………?

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