The Angels Rejoice

Christmas Eve Day I headed over to Phil’s house to torment his cat, eat food and play some video game basketball. I had been in his house for only five minutes before he declared that he was starving. From all the empty ice cream bowls, bottles of Dr. Pepper and bags of chips I knew he was far from starving but as I have found out, when Phil ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy, so I agreed we should go seek out some grub.

His car led us to Safeway, and although the parking lot appeared full it really wasn’t too busy on the inside. As we walked near the front doors the Salvation Army Donation Guy was out front rambunctiously ringing his ear-piercing bell “Merry dinga-dinga-dinga” was all I heard as the automatic doors swung open. Once inside we were greeted with the sounds of Elvis moanin’ his ‘Blue Christmas’ over the loud speakers, I was happy since it is one of my favorite Christmas songs. We found chicken strips, jo-jo potatoes and pizza sticks that would satisfy our hunger….obviously we’re bachelors, no need for any green salad like material in our diets!

In the checkout line I pulled out my wallet, but Phil feeling like ol’ jolly St. Nick said not to worry about it since my spread was only $2, plus he liked me having to owe him. I opened my wallet and discovered a $5 among the receipts.
“Cool! I’ll go give it to that Salvation Army guy and maybe he’ll stop ringing his bell for 5 seconds so we can walk to the car in peace!”
With our hands full of groceries we lumbered towards the door. I put the five in the donation slot and the ringing man said “thank you” I smiled and said “you’re welcome”. In my head this was the end of the transaction. As Phil and I turned to walk away the man started,
“Merry Christmas! You make the difference, It’s because of YOU THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE!!!! THE LORD BLESSES YOU! TODAY THE ANGELS REJOICE! THE ANGELS REJOICE BECAUSE OF YOU! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!”

By this time he was yelling it out for the whole world to see and hear and we were scurrying to the car. If you could know anything about Phil it is that he HATES drawing any attention to himself. If he had a choice it’d be to neither be seen or heard. Phil and Buster Bluth would make perfect bedfellows.

We got in the car and Phil blurted, “Well if I knew you were going to get a whole sermon I would’ve told you to keep your money!” I agreed. But I sure thought it was funny. I don’t know what made the man snap into preacher mode, maybe he could smell Phil’s fear, it doesn’t matter since it made my day. Maybe the angels rejoice when Phil gets embarrassed? If that’s the case, I’d like to make them rejoice everyday.

4 Comments »

  1. The Other Phil said,

    December 26, 2007 @ 12:34 pm

    The language these guys use. Rough! One of the guys told me to take my head out of my bottom and get back to work.

    My bottom!

  2. mego said,

    December 29, 2007 @ 6:52 pm

    did you know NY’s eve is coming? what delicious combo of food are you going to have for that event?

  3. Anthony B said,

    January 11, 2008 @ 8:40 pm

    haha..
    NOw, that was just classic…
    I would love to embarrass phil everyday to..
    Simply brilliant my son…
    hehe

    __We are the Knights who say Ni__

  4. Holly said,

    December 11, 2009 @ 1:12 am

    randomly clicked on this story! hallelujah.

RSS feed for comments on this post · TrackBack URI

Leave a Comment