Everyone should do this

Everyone should do this

Friday night. Workout is done, shower is over, my stomach is grumbling. I find myself in K’s apartment cold, hungry ready to eat. “Just come over, we’ll figure it out when you get here” she said into the cell phone. As I made the 25 minute trek to her apartment I thought someone had swapped out my Kia’s muffler with one of them loud lawn mower type mufflers you see on Hondas. Turns out it was just my belly growling for the grub.

We couldn’t decide where to go, so we finally picked Claim Jumpers. Even though it was nearly 8pm the place was packed out. We checked in and the hostess informed us it would be at least a half an hour wait. I wasn’t thrilled since my stomach was eating itself, but the company was good and every other restaurant would have had the same wait. K and I took our pager and found a spot to stand near the other (vacant) hostess stand.

In case you’ve never been to Claim Jumpers it has a huge lobby and most of them have two hostess stations. I’m not sure the reason for the second station, maybe if there was ever an Old West style shootout it would give the hostesses another place to duck for cover, but other than that I see no reason to have two stations. We stood there talking about life and annoyances and I told her about a blog post I was formulating in my head. The conversation turned towards grammar and soon we were discussing the proper placement of past participles pertaining to prose. As we discussed the difference between ‘loose’ and ‘lose’ a bartender came out of the bar and placed a pager next to us on the vacant hostess stand. We paid little attention to the pager until 2 minutes later when it lit up with flashes and buzzes. My eyes also lit up and with a flash of brilliance I grabbed the pager.

Me: We should totally take it over there and pretend it’s ours.

K: No way! They’ll know and get mad at us.

Me: How are they gonna know? We just say, ‘yup our pager buzzed’

K: I dunno, I feel dishonest

Me: It doesn’t matter, the people that had this pager went and sat in the bar instead! I’m taking it over there, I’m doing it.

And with that we walked over to the hostess that was gathering the menus. I strode confidently until we reached the other counter and I quickly shoved the buzzing pager into K’s hand and gave her a nudge on the back with my elbow.

Hostess: Kevin party of 2?

K: (sheepish grin) umm….hmmm..errr (hands pager over)

Me: yup

Seven minutes after we entered the building We were following the hostess to our seats, walking past all the other families that had just seen us check in. As we walked past the dessert counter I hid the real pager in between the menus and candy.

We were about to sit down at our stolen table and the hostess asked again

Hostess: Were you Kevin party of 2?

K: Um, actually–

Me: Yeah, our pager buzzed!

Hostess: I think you must’ve gotten someone else’s pager

Me: Yeah, well…

And with that she sat us down. It was awesome! I suggest everyone should do that when they have the chance. In the days before the pager they would take your name and call it out. I’ve always wanted to jump up and say “yes I’m Mr. Smith” when no one answered the call, but I’ve always been too chicken. It all came together on this night, and in case you’re wondering, the food does taste so much better on a stolen table under someone else’s name.


  1. mego said,

    January 31, 2008 @ 7:09 am

    Thanks really funny. i’m glad somebody felt slightly bad about it all.. good timing on your part.

  2. momma said,

    January 31, 2008 @ 4:02 pm

    Wow - did you have to pay for your own food???

  3. Kevin said,

    February 2, 2008 @ 12:18 am


  4. Phil said,

    February 6, 2008 @ 1:45 pm

    You won’t even drive 15 minutes to my house!

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