I saw a crazy thing happen on the freeway

yesterday. I was driving down the road like I often do when I’m en route to point B. As I was driving I couldn’t shake the feeling like something was wrong with my car, it seemed like it was making weird noises and I was having a hard time keeping it on the road. I wondered if maybe my car was fine and I was just drunk. I huffed into my cupped hand to see if I could smell any evidence of margaritas, mojitos or Maker’s Mark on my breath but my nostrils detected only the suttle remnants of lunch; salad with jalapeƱo ranch and chicken nuggets, yum. Then I thought that maybe I was high on drugs and that’s why I couldn’t keep my car on the road. But after a quick mental flip through my memory Rolodex I remembered that I haven’t been high in…..never. With the two leading causes of limited car control out of the way I looked up and saw my answer, wind. I didn’t actually see the wind, that would be silly, no one can see the wind except maybe little people. I get the distinct feeling they have special powers that we don’t know about and they don’t share it with any of us. It makes sense though, because when you’re that small you need to have some sort of Ace in the hole. In fact with their wind seeing ability I believe little people would make excellent weathermen and women but the problem is that TV station cameras are unable to go down to their level, and the maps on the green screen would have to be sized down so as to not engulf their small frames, no one wants to see a tiny map of the United States of America during the weather report.

So I was in the middle lane of the freeway and the wind was whipping me around like a churn full of butter. A few car lengths in front of me in the fast lane was a newish Maroon Jetta. I don’t usually take note of Jettas unless they are full of bubbly females (which they usually are). This one was occupied by two men. Right at the moment as I was looking at the Jetta the most amazing thing happened. Without warning and with extreme force, the hood of the car flung open against the windshield, effectively blocking the drivers view of the road or anything in front of him. I couldn’t believe it! It was actually kinda cool. I quickly got over into the slow lane in case he got spooked and came into my lane. Fortunately he was able to limp his Jetta to the shoulder nearest to the fast lane. As I passed I craned my neck like all good Americans do, to see if there was anything worth seeing. The hood was smashed against the windshield and since it was ripped open so violently it creased the hood right down the middle giving it a nice ‘V’ shape. Sucks!

I remember as a kid watching a Macgyver with my dad and there was a fast paced chase scene where the bad guy is right behind Macgyver and so Mac tells the driver to pop the hood. The driver says “What? You crazy?!” and Mac is all like “No, pop the hood!” so the driver pops the hood and the hood rips off the car and goes flying into the bad guy’s windshield causing him to crash or at least stop pursuing. I remember asking my dad if that would really happen and he said “Only in the movies son, only in the movies”. Unfortunately, my dad was right because as cool as it was to see the hood fly up it would’ve been even cooler to see it fly off. I don’t know if the hood wasn’t properly secured, the wind blew it off or if there was a little person inside the engine compartment mischievously fooling with the latching mechanism. Either way I know that:

wind + little people = not a good mix.

Case closed.

4 Comments »

  1. EsoPhil said,

    April 24, 2008 @ 6:31 pm

    Weird. Yeah, it was amazingly windy yesterday. I wasn’t out much today to experience it. I usually walk to and from work, and I get to experience it firsthand. I can’t remember the last time it was that windy. It’s been a while (perhaps last week, with a memory like mine).

    Excellent theories about little people. I watched “The Littles” when I was a kid. And Smurfs.

    It’s funny that “to MacGyver” is actually a fairly accepted verb in English because of that show. It’s similar to “jimmy rig”. I wonder what new expression the next generation will come up with when no one knows who or what MacGyver is. Care to predict? My idea is “LoserBuster-Sideways” because that is one of the most popular up and coming shows about a character that knows how to fix everything imaginable.

  2. mego said,

    April 25, 2008 @ 1:57 pm

    it could have been the smurfs. have you got something against little people?

  3. Anthony said,

    April 28, 2008 @ 6:04 pm

    Ok, now that was just funny….
    Dude, that totally reminds me of Tommy Boy with the hood fying up..
    I still cant believe that could actually happen.
    God Bless the Little for they will one day rule the world..

  4. Aimzee said,

    April 29, 2008 @ 2:09 pm

    You see the craziest things. That’s like right out of a movie or something. Glad no one was hurt…but see what happens when one buys a VW? ;D

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