Bum Signs

I think that homeless people should band together and form one massive sign shop. Because no matter what city you’re in it seems like all the bums are talented at making signs. If they’re hard up for moola, why not charge people for something they already do? I can’t believe no one has ever thought of this! As with any business it would take some time to get off the ground, so the higher up bums (I assume there is a homeless hierarchy) that are almost *not* homeless anymore could charge the new homeless people a usage fee for the signs they already made, something like 5% of the days earnings.

Once the business was rolling they could have real customers and make them signs! If the bums don’t want to open a sign shop, they should at least open a sign supply shop for streetless people like myself. This is an obvious gold mine because they never seem to run out of cardboard and sharpies! And I am constantly out of cardboard and sharpies. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve burned a cd and couldn’t find a sharpie, it is so frustrating! Pencil does not make for a good cd writing tool. I think they should use their resources to help out people like me.

All this homeless sign talk reminded me of the other week, I may have already told this story so if I have, read it again. I exited the freeway and pulled up to the stop light at the end of the ramp. As sure as sugar there was a homeless guy standing there with a sign. I had my window unrolled because it was the perfect cruise with your window down type of day. I wasn’t going to do the obvious window roll up and power lock ‘clunk’ like Phil does every time a raggedy homeless man approaches his car. So as the man approached I sat with my elbow on the sill, beboppin’ to my tunes.

‘Can you spare any change?’

“I’m sorry man, I don’t have any, but you can have this shiny red apple!”

‘I’d love to gnarl on that apple, but I ain’t got no teeth’

I looked up at the man as his face widened to reveal a gummy grin, indeed all he had was mouthful of air and red gums.
Then we both shared a good hearty laugh, because having no teeth is pretty funny.

1 Comment »

  1. mego said,

    August 3, 2008 @ 1:27 pm

    john said we should stand on the corner with a sign that said, “NOT homeless, but still need money. Anything helps! God bless”…. ain’t that the truth.

    I can never find a Sharpie, either, so it will be awhile before I can make the sign.

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