Metallica - A review

There was FIRE and LASERS!

What more do I need to say? I could tell you about the songs they played, old and new that rocked the house down. I might mention the 20-foot metal caskets that descended from the ceiling, tilting and twisting with the lights. I’m sure I could give you a detailed description of the the drunk guy across the aisle from me (thank God we had that divide btwn us) that almost got kicked out three times for throwing popcorn, being rowdy and fondling the large girl in front of him. To be fair he might have lost a sandwich and was trying to locate it within one of her many folds, I wasn’t sure. I could also speak about our aisle and how we officially deemed it the tiny bladder aisle, but I didn’t mind since the attractive middle-age woman that kept coming and going would always find a new way to caress my attention when she needed to get by. I know you would like to hear about the many weird people, the enormous age gap present, the strange styles and the low cut jeans on one girl that were so low there was a good 2-3 inch plumber crack peeking over the top when she was standing straight up. Phil wanted to stick his finger in the crack as we walked by, but I wouldn’t let him. You would laugh if I told you about the mousy looking guy that kept trying to sneak up to the front row, only to get kicked out time after time. After each failed attempt he would walk up three steps and start head bobbing to the music, only to have the security guard shake his head and point to the door. The man never learned his lesson until he was physically removed I could also fill you in on my theory that rock stars don’t actually drink water, they just take a big swig, swish it around and spit it out on stage. There was lots of spitting. I’m not sure, but I believe that when you’re rocking as hard as Metallica you have no time to swallow your own saliva so the only thing to do is to spit it out. Years of whiskey, beer and naked women has left their mouths rough like razor blades and so water must burn like acid, that is my theory. Lastly I could tell you about the Metallica balls that fell from the ceiling and made the crowd go crazy, I could tell you all these things and so much more, but there is not enough room. All you really need to know is, they had,


Fire so big the heat swooshed by us as it lit the air. LASERS so plentiful they looked like 3-year-olds dancing around a cake, a german chocolate cake……and a concert so rockin’ we too danced around with glee, well I danced around, Phil just nodded in silent approval.

1 Comment »

  1. mego said,

    November 2, 2008 @ 3:48 pm

    wow- that’s sounds like fun… what a wonderful birthday party… ohhh what,,, your birthday party was even BETTEr than that?.. cool ;)

RSS feed for comments on this post · TrackBack URI

Leave a Comment