What the hell is in my munchies?!

I swung by Freddies on my way home to buy some cereal for Nick’s 30th bday bash this weekend. Don’t worry, I’m not so lame that I would buy someone cereal for their bday, he just asked me to ’scare some up’ for everyone that is spending the night. In addition I decided to grab some munchies for the road. I couldn’t decide what to get so I got a bag of Munchies. Munchies would be perfect if they would leave out the damn Rold Gold pretzels. That’s a perfectly good way to ruin munchies, stick with the cheetos, doritos and sun chips and it would be divine. I was driving home grabbing fat handfuls to stuff in my face when I suddenly pulled this out….(see pic)

WTF is that?? Now I know you’re thinking that just looks like I’m holding up a delicious chicken nugget and believe me I wish it was because chicken nuggets inside a bag of munchies would make them so much better. In fact if they replaced the Rold’s Gold Pretzels with chicken nuggets I’d buy a bag every week…..but I digress. This is some hard, dry, clumpy object covered in fake dusty cheese. I’m scared to investigate the mysterious object for fear of what I mind find hidden inside the cheese dust clump, could be a mouse, finger or more cheese?!

The question is, I’m about to leave for my mini-road trip and I still have a 3/4 uneaten bag of munchies, should I keep eating them and leave the clump at home? I can’t quite decide. What would you do?

When I reached into the bag and my fingers stumbled across the lump it reminded me of a story my grandmother told me about her brother some years ago. He was a bachelor living at home so his dinner often consisted of Rice Krispies or Corn Flakes. On this night he poured out a heaping bowl, covered it in milk and dove in. About half way through, his spoon struck something solid and he looked down to see something black in his cereal. Thinking it was a dead mouse he immediately jumped up, ran to the bathroom and threw up his milky dinner (I wonder if Rice Krispies snap, crackle and pop on the way out?). After a few minutes he composed himself and came back to the kitchen. He looked into his bowl dug out the black ‘thing’ and realized that it wasn’t a small mouse as he originally thought, but a toy that had fallen out in the middle of all his cereal.


I wish I had a toy, I suppose in some places a dry, clumpy mass could be a toy and that’s a nice thought…I just wish they wouldn’t put it in my munchies.


  1. normal jean said,

    April 24, 2009 @ 10:28 pm

    It’s probably just a big ol’ ball of flavor. Didn’t you ever bust it open?? I’d definitely wanna know what was in there. So i could either sue their asses OR sprinkle some bonus flavor sprinkles on my crispy fried snacks. lol

  2. Anthony said,

    April 25, 2009 @ 10:14 am

    Rold Gold pretzels?
    I utterly detest pretzels of any kind..
    My boys love them, but they had better grow out of that phase in a hurry..
    I love how the munchies bag is out of focus in the background..
    Seems like a image for a classy commercial of some kind..
    hehe ;)
    Go thy way in peace…
    ABC OUT!!!

  3. mego said,

    April 27, 2009 @ 8:31 am

    Bro, seriously we need to talk…
    1. Who buys ‘Munchies’? Lame… buy Cheetos, if that’s what you’re in the mood for. (in my case, i’d buy a bag of pretzels, cuz i like them).
    2. What uncle are we talking about here- gus?
    3. did you have a fun weekend?- you need to come visit your sis now, and bring her a nice treat, maybe a box of cereal. ;)

  4. Jake said,

    April 29, 2009 @ 2:06 pm

    I saw it in real life… That picture does not do justice to the size of that abomination. There’s probably a dead baby mouse in the center of it.

    Hey Micah, how many licks does it take to get to the dead baby mouse center of a Munchies cheeseball pop?

  5. Kara said,

    May 2, 2009 @ 10:32 pm

    Have you cracked that sucker open yet? What was inside? So was it a mouse?

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