Wake me up

The suitcases under my eyes are testaments to the fact that I stayed up too late last night. I didn’t mean to, it just happens. Seems that most nights are like that. I had a hard time getting up today. I actually woke up before my alarm but just laid there wishing I could fall back into dreamland. I got up and went to the living room for some morning calisthenics to wake me up. After some stretching, situps and leg raises I flopped on the couch like a lazy bum. I just wasn’t into it. My body didn’t feel like moving and my head was thick. I felt sleep quickly taking over me until I forced myself to get up and get ready to avoid being late for work.

I walked back to my room to grab my towel and clean boxers before I headed to the shower. It took me only 7.6 seconds to retrieve my things so you can imagine my surprise when I came back to the living room and there was a figure standing in the entryway. My eyes snapped open, pupils dilated, fists clenched and my skin burning hot, ready to head-butt, tackle, elbow, knee (basically Krav Maga the hell out of the intruder) or whatever it would take to protect myself. Fortunately before I took flight towards this evil doer my eyes communicated with my brain that this threat was actually my house mate and I should not attack her with great fury.

Me: “OH! You scared the crap out of me!”

House Mate: “Sorry I had to come home and get a camera.”

Me: “Man, I just about attacked you…my skin is still buzzin!”

Now fully awake after jumping out of my skin I relaxed in the hot shower. The morning jolt reminded me of another intruder incident years earlier.

I had just graduated college and was still living near campus in my ghetto apartment. It was a magical time when I had no money and ramen was on the daily menu. I landed a temporary job (one that lasted 2 years) doing inventory for a professional inventory company. Since most stores like you to do the countin’ when they’re closed, the hours were either really early or really late. Lack of a sleep was a common theme as were midday naps.

One morning at 4 am I was particularly groggy as I stumbled down the stairs towards the kitchen. Clearing the sleep from my eyes I rounded the bottom of the stairs and was shocked to be face-to-face with a shadow in the night. In a flash of ferocity my feet dug into the carpet as I flung myself towards this detestable demon in my house. Sailing through the air I cocked my arm back like Mike Tyson (young Tyson, before the drugs and the weird face tattoo) winding up for a knockout punch. With adrenaline coursing through every cell in my body I gritted my teeth as I seethed in anticipation of impact. A millisecond before total devastation the hazy figure turned around and between the heartbeats in my eardrums I heard a faint “oooooohhhh Mic…..”

My brain instantly recognized the voice as my eccentric Japanese roommate, but my body was already en route to destroy him. I de-cocked my arm, tried to put the brakes on and avoid him, but I still managed to bash into him in the dark hallway.

Me: “bleepity bleep Yoshi! You scared the bleep outta me!”

Yoshi: “oooooh…Sorry.”

And that’s all he could say. He tromped back upstairs to his warm bed completely unaware that he was just about torn apart from limb to limb. It took a moment for me to calm down and stop shaking from having my heart rev up from 65 to 200 in the early morning hours.

 To this day I have no idea what he was doing in the hallway at 4am. He was by the toilet so maybe he was flushing one of his famous book reports down. Who knows, but he was very effective in waking me up, much like today. I’m glad my fists have never connected with an innocent roommate, but if people keep sneaking up on a half asleep Micah, someone is going to get hurt!




  1. yoshi said,

    June 4, 2009 @ 11:49 pm

    oh micah, you so funny. how i miss your gentle touch. how we laughed, how we danced! our bodies intertwined under the moonlight.

    i continue to watch you from afar. you will always be my….sesei.

  2. mego said,

    June 8, 2009 @ 8:36 am

    i know, what is up with m.tyson’s face tatoo? is he trying to look like the terminator?

  3. Anthony said,

    June 9, 2009 @ 4:37 am

    Utterly Brillian for you to not attack your current House Mate.
    Since you have not mentioned him/her by name, I will not either, but
    that would have been kinda funny..
    Well, sad and yet funny…
    Since my new phone has got the rss feed plus a billion other features, I can now
    keep on the micah world no matter where I am at…
    Feel that baby.
    K, I shall return. ;)

  4. Anthony said,

    June 22, 2009 @ 5:26 pm

    K, can we say update?
    hehe ;)

    __We are the Knights who say Ni__

RSS feed for comments on this post · TrackBack URI

Leave a Comment