To the fat lady riding the black motorcycle on I84

Get off the f*cking road.

Seriously, before you kill yourself or anyone else.

After riding a motorcycle around for several years I believe I know what I am talking about when I say it is YOUR responsibility to stay out of people’s blind spot, believe me they can’t see you no matter how large you seem on that motorcycle. When passing an 18 wheeler on the freeway it should not take 5 minutes. There is no reason to get in the fast lane and then match speed with the semi-truck in the slow lane. That is a great way to have a pileup crash behind you as cars that were once traveling at 75mph slam on their brakes for your slow, meandering butt. Riding alongside an 18 wheeler for 5 miles on a motorcycle is one of the stupidest things you can do. Are you retarded? You must be because after passing the large truck you sped up to nearly 85mph so no one could pass you. I’m sure you were scared to see all the one-fingered salutes. The limit of your mental capacity was revealed when the speeding ambulance with screaming sirens came up behind you and you continued to putt along in the fast lane. Judging by the size of your pants you must have fat for brains. The ambulance isn’t blaring loud sirens to signal “fun times up yonder” it means ‘get the f*ck out of the way’. The group of 10 bad-ass Harley riders had no problem letting the ambulance pass, but being bad-ass Harley riders they immediately jumped in the ambulance’s wake and roared up the highway using it to their convenience.

And to the old lady driving the brown Honda. Blaring sirens mean get out of the way, but that doesn’t mean come into the slow lane and SLAM ON YOUR BRAKES right in front to me! Decelerating from 60 to 20 is another great way to get in an accident on the freeway. Are you stupid, or just sisters with fat motorcycle lady? My honking and glaring was all for you as I saw my life about to slip away.

And finally to the blue Toyota Tundra. What happened? Why did you have to use the rest area with only 70 miles left? We had a good 200 miles together passing, weaving in and out of traffic. You were my pace car to keep me in check and just under 75mph. You were the engine and I was the caboose and together we were making record time. It was soon after you left the freeway that my troubles began and the hog ridin’ bovine came into view. I believe had we stuck together we could’ve conquered all the bad drivers and traffic leading to Portland.

Nevetheless I made it back from Phildaho. It was HOT.


  1. Jake said,

    July 5, 2009 @ 4:48 pm


  2. normal jean said,

    July 5, 2009 @ 4:57 pm

    Well, i’m sure glad you made it home through that obstacle course of stupid. lol

  3. mego said,

    July 6, 2009 @ 7:40 am

    i’m sensing that you have some pent-up anger that needs to be expelled. it’s time for a kick-boxing session at krav, where you can punch it all into the bag. ;).

  4. Anthony said,

    July 10, 2009 @ 4:31 pm

    Yes, I have been there many times my friend..
    I feel your pain…
    One quick question though.
    What is Phildaho?

RSS feed for comments on this post · TrackBack URI

Leave a Comment