She’s kind of a $&*!

I had to go to radio shack today. I haven’t gone to radio shack in years and today I remembered why I try to avoid it. I actually like going there to look around, but overall I think I will keep doing my best to avoid it. HES needed a new phone and we were going to order it online, but decided to go to a T-Mobile dealer to touch and fondle the phones before deciding on one. I needed some solder and was told by solder junkies that radio shack had the best stuff.
We walked in and made a B-line towards the phones just as a salesman who called himself Austin made a B-line towards us. I was expecting that, but wasn’t expecting him to actually leave us alone. To our surprise he introduced himself and immediately disappeared, leaving us to fondled (the phones) to our heart’s content. After poking and clicking all the different phone buttons I made my way over to the solder, found what I needed and went to the cash register to pay.
That’s when I saw her. Six-feet tall, wavey brown hair that rested on her shoulders and dark GREEN eyes. She was kind of cute in the face area, but I wasn’t totally enamored with the belly that heavily hung over her sturdy belt. My eyes didn’t linger too long as I was only interested in getting my solder and going to COSTCO!

Pretty-in-the-face-fat-in-the-belly-girl: Are you all ready?

Me: Yup

PITFFITBG: Before I ring this up would you be interested in a GPS? They’re on special for only $99.99.

Me: Nope, I’ve got my brain to help me with directions.

PITFFITBG: (condescendingly) Oh right, you don’t need a GPS because you’re a guy.

Me: No, it’s not that, I’ve lived in this city for 23 years and I pretty much know my way around.

PITFFITBG: Not me, I don’t have a very good sense of direction.

Me: Yeah, that’s like my sister, she needs specific directions, starting from her front door.

PITTFFITBG: Ok would you like any batteries?

(Always with the batteries!)

Me: No just the solder

She runs the transaction and it seems like I’m going to get out of there with minimal hassle. Stapling my receipt she says:

PITFFITBG: So you have T-mobile huh? When are you going to upgrade?

Me: (annoyed) Upgrade to what?

PITFFITBG: You don’t know? To Vibrant! Vibrant is amazing.

Me: Oh I see, but I–
PITFFITBG: What kind of phone to do you have?

(Realizing any phone I named would be less than the vibrant)

Me: Just a phone. It dials and texts, that’s all I need.

PITFFITBG: You need to see the vibrant! Austin, go in the back and get a vibrant!

I shot a piercing look to Austin who appeared a tad miserable as his hoochie coworker was desperately trying to sell me some piece of shit that I clearly did not want or need.

Me: Don’t bother Austin, I don’t want to see it, I’ve got all the vibrant I need, I’m vibrant on the inside!

And with that I turned and walked away, but not before fatty gave a parting shot dripping with sarcasm and attitude towards HES (who had been quiet this whole time).

PITFFITBG: Wow he uses his brain for directions AND he’s full of vibrant, you’ve got a real keeper there girl.

My ears were surprised that she would cut such a tone with me because I didn’t want to buy crap I didn’t need. For a split second I really thought about turning around and giving her a few words, but I figured anything I had to say would be lost on a minimum wage employee at radio shack. Instead I walked out, turned to HES and said in disbelief “Wow she was kind of a $%#!” HES agreed with a healthy nod and with that we went to COSTCO! We got a new phone with all the trimmings for far less than radio shack could have offered……without any of the hassle.
Plus we got samples, lots and lots of samples.


  1. mego said,

    August 2, 2010 @ 7:24 am

    at least i have a gps, so i don’t get so lost anymore.

  2. Anthony B. said,

    August 4, 2010 @ 5:48 am

    Come on son. You don’t know about the amazing and best phone on planet earth called the vibrant? How dare you?
    Should we just take you out back and have you shot? Haha

RSS feed for comments on this post · TrackBack URI

Leave a Comment