I am a counter

Throughout my normal day I’ve become increasingly aware of the fact that I am constantly counting. I’m not counting anything important, just anything that my eyes happen to rest upon. I wish I could say this is a super power “my amazing ability to count” but I have found no benefit to it. When Timmy is stuck in a tree no one ever says “Thank God you’re here sequential counting man!” and then I proceed to count the ways of getting Timmy down from the three. That’s a superpower that annoys, rather than helps.

Does anyone else do this or am I alone in my pointless counting?

This morning I was gathering some documents to be mailed and I started counting “1..2..3..4….8” Eight documents in total. Wowee. The problem is I wasn’t sure how many documents were actually supposed to be there so I would’ve been satisfied with 6 or maybe even 10 documents! Counting them was utterly pointless, much like putting butter on a croissant.

I think all of this started from my inventory days when my whole job was to count. Many hours of counting soup, shoes and lumber made me a wizard on the 10-key and a Viking of addition. I started out like any noob with “1..2..3..etc” and I quickly progressed to the popular “2…4…6…8” method of counting. Eventually I learned how to see large groups of numbers and patterns while counting and progressed my counting career.  Now unfortunately I cannot unsee those patterns of numbers and in my day-to-day I’m counting spokes on lowered civic’s rims, the number of blue buttons on my work phone and how many teeth that homeless guy has. Three.

Most of the time I’m fairly accurate in my needless counting, except when I’m doing situps. I don’t know if it’s the up and down movement causing the fluid sloshing around my brain or the lack of blood, but I seem to lose my count quite easily when my abdominals are getting crunched.


After a workout I’d feel good about doing 600 situps but I’ve become increasingly aware of my creative counting and have realized I’m lucky if I did 78. No wonder my abs have refused to surface.  :/

I ever I found myself in an intense hostage-negotiating situation, I’d like to think that my counting skills would come in handy. Combine those skills with my abilities as a top shot and my general badassery and I think I’d look a lot like Korben Dallas as seen below.




  1. Anthony B. said,

    August 13, 2010 @ 5:49 pm

    Heck, Korben Dallas has got nothing on you Bruzzzzzzzzzzz…………………

  2. normaljean said,

    August 13, 2010 @ 7:39 pm

    omg, i count ALL the time too! When i cut veggies.. take steps.. all the freaking time. We are definitely from the same tribe of weirdos, Micah. :)

  3. admin said,

    August 14, 2010 @ 8:35 am

    argh! I forgot to mention about the step counting with stairs…all the freakin’ time and I catch myself and think “what the heck am I doing?!”

    I’m not surprised you’re from a tribe of weirdos NJ :) <3~!

  4. mego said,

    August 16, 2010 @ 10:23 am

    your niece m. counts as well.. can we say ‘obsessive-compulsive’?

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