Test Drive

Dave and I are in the market for a new car so he called me up last week and wondered if I would go on a test drive with him. He’s interested in buying a WRX, so I said sure. Little did I know the crazy hairs that were up Dave’s ass this evening. The test drive started long before we got to the dealership. Dave’s car is in the shop and so he’s driving around a rental, a late 90’s Chevy Blazer. That poor blazer never saw it coming. When shifting from park to drive, impatient Dave felt it was unimportant to wait for the transmission to fully engage before romping on the gas pedal. This resulted in a loud grinding sound and unignorable “clunk” while the blazer violently fell into gear. Dave also thought the spongy suspension was fun and giggled while swerving left and right as we drove down Railroad Ave. Fortunately we made it to the Subaru dealership. Dave was interested in the new WRX 5-speed. So the salesman took it out to a nearby parking lot and let Dave get in. If you don’t know anything about WRX’s, let me educate you. They’re awesome cars. Fast, safe, stick to the asphalt like a flattened skunk in the Arizona desert. The ‘06 has a new 2.5 Liter engine which pumps out a few more horsies, and an electronic acceleration system which nearly eliminates all turbo lag, making for a very fast combo.

I was excited to be along for the drive, Dave was just as excited when he got in the driver’s seat, since the first thing he did was kill the car. VROOOOM……blblbblalbkbal. Just like that, beautiful. Dave got the car started and we were off to a jerky start. On the highway it was slightly smoother sailing as Dave got more aquainted with the clutch/shifting thing. We started on a long stretch of road when the salesman told Dave to back off from the car in front of him. There was literally a 90 degree left hand turn ahead and the salesdude told dave to drop it down a gear and whip through it. It was scary as Dave started to speed up as we neared the turn, but MAN we shot through that corner with the car barely budging an inch, it felt like we were in a slot car! Truly awesome. Unbeknownst to me, the best part was yet to come. We started to descend down a hill and the guy told DL to keep the car in third and “let ‘er rip” or something like that. It was crazy. We were going down a steep hill on a windy road in the dark, and Dave kept accelerating! Left and right I was being thrown back and forth in the back of the car. I was having a pretty good time until Dave went around one sharp corner and it felt like the back broke loose just a little, at that moment my fun turned to terror. Dave was relentless and the car performed like a champ, until the super-sharp-right-hand-turn. Dave was flying down another steep hill when at the bottom there was a very sharp 120 or more degree turn…super confident Dave grabbed the steering wheel and cranked it was we squealed through the turn. Yes he made a super tight AWD WRX lose enough traction to let out a squeal. As we barreled up the hill after the squealy turn, the salesman (who was white knuckling the Oh Sh*t handle) calmy turned to Dave and said, “A little less throttle.” Classic. But Dave hardly took notice of his request and continued launching the car up the hill through narrow lanes and soft shoulders. By the end my adrenaline was seriously pumping and I know Dave’s was, I’m not sure, but I think the salesman soiled himself. The car sold itself, but Dave did not buy from the soiled salesman.

When Dave buys the car I highly suggest you ask him to take you for a test drive…I mean in the car, not on him, although I’m sure that’d be just as terrifying.

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